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| where are you at? my husband works too much too...I have a 7 month old and we live here in San Bernadino, Ca..... |
| posted by teresa on 08/24/2007 12:00 PM
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I thinkwe need to remember in order to be a sahm like we are or husbands have to work ALOT or else the money would be bad. So just try to appreciate him for leting u stay at home. But I do know that is sucks when they are not home :(
Laura |
| posted by laura on 08/24/2007 01:00 PM
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| You are not alone. My husband works for the railroad and is on call 24/7 for 7 days then is suppose to get 72 hours off. It doesn't work that. It is really tough! I feel like a single mom almost every day since 90% of the time he gets called to go out of town and is gone between 36 and 72 hours! Our son is almost 9 months old and still isn't sleeping through the night. It gets REALLY hard when I'm by myself and takes A LOT of patience for those sleepless nights and then to take care of him alone the next day. I am very greatfull that I am able to stay home, but I feel bad that he is missing out on so much of his growing up. Hang in there. You're not alone! IT IS OKAY to feel like that sometimes. |
| posted by Jenni on 08/24/2007 01:18 PM
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| I completely understand. My husband works from 6 am to 8 or 9 pm Mon - Thurs. On Fri and Sat. he works from 11 am until about 1 am. He usually takes Sunday off, but lately he's been working from 3 pm until 11 pm on Sunday too. I have two little boys (23 months and 5 weeks) and feel like I am really alone most of the time. It's not so much that I need help with anything, but that I want to spend time with him when he's not sleeping. |
| posted by Savanah on 08/24/2007 02:05 PM
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Iknow all about the work all the time thing. My husband is in the union so he goes out of town all the time. Sometimes out of the state. He has been away for along as 2 months. He has been offered jobs that would last 6 to 8 months, but he won't go without us. (the kids are in school so we can't) I know that it is hard to deal with being alone with the kids, but I really wouldn't want anyone else with my kids. My husband, when he is at home with me he never leaves and is always with the kids and helps all the time. So I take what I can get. (When he laid off)
I feel like a single mom sometimes but I know that he loves us.
Tara |
| posted by Tara on 08/24/2007 02:39 PM
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| we are an army family....so i know about your husband never being there,,,, my husband was deployed for 1 yr and missed our daughters birth ! |
| posted by melissa on 08/24/2007 03:26 PM
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| Its not that I'm not at all grateful for what he does for me or that I even want him to help out when he is home.... but I just want to spend time with him and have a conversation with him that doesn't involve work or the phone going of in the middle of a conversation. |
| posted by Kalla on 08/24/2007 03:45 PM
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| Kalla what if you plan a date night twice a month? That way the 2 of you could have some alone time and talk with out any interruption. If you are not comfortable leaving your son yet, you could plan something for home, like renting a movie or playing a game. If you make plans for at home make sure to turn the phone off :) |
| posted by Amanda on 08/24/2007 04:18 PM
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| i understand how you feel. my husband works in the strip minesand right now it is slow and is working 50 hours a week but usually he would work 60. The comp. he use to work he had an hour or so drive and would work usually 70 hours a week. But finally he is closer. to home. with the shorter dist we come out about the same money wise. But it is so tough when you need a break, but if he didnt work the long hours i wouldnt be able to stay home so i am thankful. |
| posted by Natasha on 08/24/2007 08:35 PM
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| talk to him. He could just be nervous about being a dad or he may feel left out and he needs to hear and know that you need him. |
| posted by Melinda on 08/27/2007 03:41 PM
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| I know how you feel as well. My husband owns a business although he doesnt go out of town that much. He is always taking calls for work and is always busy. We do have solid weekends together. I think the hardest part of being a sahm is that we dont get paycheck at the end of the week for our sleepless nights and sore backs! Our gratification comes later in life when our kids realize the sacrafices we have made for them to have a better life. I think at times we all feel like single parents. |
| posted by Jodi on 08/27/2007 08:21 PM
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hi, I totally understand how you feel .... My husband is a firefighter/paramedic and works alot as well. He just got home after a 72 and it is so hard.. it totally changes once you are at home you notice it more.. when I worked I thought it was great to have my own time and I have been staying home for two years and I think it is very tough.. it gets easier as your baby gets older.... if you want to talk more shoot me a note... just hang in there and realize I have had to lower my expectations especially when I plan things because he gets called back alot in the summer time and he works alot of over-time as well... so hang in there as the baby gets a little older they can hang out more and now my daughter is two and my son is five and I feel more of the help ......
take care, HEIDI |
| posted by heidi on 08/27/2007 09:10 PM
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| hi there. my husband is a truck driver and gone a lot. it was really hard in the beginning. do you have family near by to help you? just take naps when the baby does. that will help. reach out for friend or anyone who can help. this is a real stressfull and emotional time for you. good luck! |
| posted by Kacey on 08/29/2007 12:49 AM
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| Wow. I have a knot in my throat at all of us feeling the same thing. Kalla...I empathise with you. My husband has just started a job that keeps our schedules crazy plus he is taking night classes two nights a week for three hours each night. It could be worse, and I try to remember that right now we are going through certain sacrifices to make life better in the long run. Try not to ponder on how things "used to be"...I get caught in that trap too and all it does is make me feel worse. Try to think of ways you can show your love and respect for your husband and all he is trying to accomplish to take care of you and your child. Also, see if he has any suggestions as to how you can get the extra help you need while he's away: this way he may feel as if he is helping to "fix" and "provide a solution" for you during the times when he can't be there. My heart is heavy for you, but I know you guys can get through this together! After all, the Lord chose you two people out of all the couples in the world to take care of this baby and to do it together! It's a sacred thing...keep your head about you and don't give up! |
| posted by Kelly on 08/30/2007 09:16 PM
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