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| Healthy, Happy Marriages |
| Public online group |
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Hey I just wanted to say "Hey" to both Tina and Savannah. I'm glad you joined the group. It's pretty new so advertise it and hopefully we can get a few more in here and have some good conversations. = ) If you have anything you'd like to post feel free to do so. Have an awesome day!!!
Melissa |
| Posted by Melissa on 08/23/2007 02:59 PM
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Thank you. Todd and I have been married for 18 years. We didn't start off the ideal way and have totally transformed from who we were then. I'm glad you started this group, it seems like few people like to talk of positive relationships sometimes. I think its ok to discuss a bad day or season in your marriage but I don't agree with constant whining, especially when the women whining are most of the problem :)
Through the help of other people and life experiences we have learned many things that have made our life more enjoyable and I'm glad I learned it now before we were too old to enjoy life. |
| posted by Tina on 08/26/2007 07:39 AM
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| I totally agree. I see so many groups that just gripe about everything under the sun. It gets tiring! How funny my husbands name is Todd too. And we too didn't start out the ideal way. We have been married two years in December. I' glad you like the group. Hopefully we will get some more members!!! |
| posted by Melissa on 08/27/2007 01:08 PM
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Hi. I'm Savanah. I'm 22, married to Jimmy, and have 2 little boys. My marriage goes through patches. Right now, we are in a not-so-good patch. He is working almost 80 hours a week and I have PPD. We've been together for a little over 4 years and married for over 2. I've noticed patterns in our relationship. He works a lot during the summer and it seems to take a toll by the end. By the end of September things are great, until Christmas time. By the middle of January, we are doing wonderful until the end of the next summer. At least I know when things get bumpy and am able to appreciate how much stronger our relationship is because of the bad times.
Savanah |
| posted by Savanah on 08/28/2007 12:42 AM
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I understand completely, we all go through stages.
Especially -- Holidays are stressful on the guys. Even if they won't talk about it without being asked. There is so much out there that puts pressure on them, plus watching and hearing all about what big expensive things the other guys at work got or getting or going on vacation. If finances are tough that year, I work on creating memories that are priceless. "You know honey, all the kids want to do is have friends over and go sledding for the day, so how about we just buy a couple cheap sleds and hot cocoa and snacks and plan it for between Thanksgiving & Christmas, or in January?" " You would be the family hero being the picture taker!"
Suggestions include making a very small list of Christmas gifts and prices ahead of time so he knows what to expect.
Tell him of the ones you are making. Include cookies for his co-workers or bettter yet a crock pot of chili and homemade rolls for lunch one day, he'll be very proud to show off. Emphasize that you want to make it special but not about money. I enjoy spending time at the library looking at all of the Holidays crafts and cook books because we call it the Holiday Season in our house for winter. This has created many many traditions that neither our teens or my husband will forget and ask for each year. Its really good for you too, because by researching and planning ahead it gives your mind something to focus on and helps you to be wise in your spending, such as buying one extra bag of choco chips and put it away in the cupboard instead of buying all of the ingredients at once and spending all of your grocery budget on it. I can go on this subject for hours so I'll shut up now. Sorry Ladies :) |
| posted by Tina on 08/28/2007 07:14 AM
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| Those are great ideas, Tina. Just remember that relationships take work and you are still early on in your marriage. Men put everything on providing for the family, so while we do get stressed about finances, they get it ten times worse because that is just how God made them. They think if they can't provide they're not much of a man. They base their self worth on how well they take care of their family. Most men do anyways. An awesome bood to read is Love And Respect. It talks about the love a woman wants and the respect a man needs. It is amazing!!! |
| posted by Melissa on 08/29/2007 01:13 PM
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