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Well, he did it. He kept on even after I warned him, after his daddy warned him, he still kept on. You'd think that the issue is something big like him getting a girl pregnant, or totalling my new (to me) car. But no. All the drama, all the yelling, all the attitude is about.....chores.
Chores! Big whoopdy-doo! He could get get them done and get them done right in 30-45 minutes depending on the day. But no. He refuses to use the checklist I made to make sure they didn't forget anything. He only does a half-@#$%^ job and gives it a big 10% effort.
So, when I noticed the kitchen counter needed to be cleaned, he kind of blew up. "I cleaned it and then you and Rachel go in there and make a mess." I point out that there are crumbs on the counter from before he even woke up that are still there. "Well, I'm not doing it!"
Now he has no Playstation 2, no PSP, no TV privileges, no DVD/VCR privileges, no CD player/radio, and no computer privileges, and though his friends are welcome to come up here, they can't bring their electronic stuff, and Daniel can't go down there. He's hating life right now, because he has to miss his beloved wrestling.
I taught him to play solitaire - so he does that periodically, he's played a game or two with his sister (who is going to be in the same boat come Monday, I'm sure), his played with his wrestling figures, he's practiced golf, he's played with a variety of pets..so he's finding some things to do. He won't read any of the books we have, or magazines. He didn't want to help his daddy with painting the bathroom, he didn't want to cook dinner, but he does want to play Joker Board with us. I promised him I would do that this evening - and I don't make very many promises! Maybe we can get daddy and sister to play too.
All this over being to stubborn to do 30-45 minutes worth of chores each day, and do them right. And why? Because he's just got this sucky attitude that he shouldn't have to do anything he doesn't want to.
When his dad asked him why he refused to do his chore, he actually said, "I'm tired of people telling me what to do."
He'll earn back electronics at the rate of one/week, but only if the attitude stays good. If it gets really bad, I'll start taking things away again!
I can't believe all this is over chores - I just can't! |
| Posted by Kelly on 08/18/2007 07:05 PM
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Hi KellyLee, that same bug that has bitten your son, has bitten my son. There was a heated debate in my kitchen this morning involving "chores" for that matter.
I asked my son this morning to throw out the trash, including recycling, sweep and mop the floor. He had a heart attack! Started in with the ranting and raving.
We were going to get him a bike for his birthday this morning, and with his total meltdown, there is no bike, and there will not be a bike until his attitude diminishes and he follows thru with what is asked of him. His room is a nightmare-for he feels there is nothing wrong with it.
My son feels that because he is on summer vacation, he should not do "chores". I give him simple things, but, it is forever before he moves a muscle. Keeping him inside the entire day as punishment is even worse.
I am open to suggestions or anyone with insightful information on how to resolve this issue.
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| posted by esther on 08/18/2007 10:05 PM
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In our house, it's a power struggle. Daniel's trying to be grown up and he thinks that means he can do what he wants and doesn't have to be told what to do by anyone! HA! I'm a grown-up, I don't have a job, and my hubby isn't the bossy type, but I can't do just whatever I want. I have responsibilities to my kids, my hubby, my parents, etc. And I'm told what to do everytime I get in my car and have to set the cruise control at 65 or 70, but would really rather go 85-90.
My hubby actually said (about the discipline I'm using), "Isn't that a little harsh?" "NO. It isn't harsh. I'm not giving him back everything at once because I want him to spend some time learning this new attitude and behavior, not just putting on an act for a week to get all his stuff back." |
| posted by Kelly on 08/19/2007 11:40 AM
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| I have a problem w/my 15 yo step-daughter not doing any chores when she is with us. Because she lives w/her mother & is with us every other weekend she doesn't believe she should have to do anything while she is here. I tell her that she is not a "house guest" but a member of our family & we all have chores to do whether we are here every day or not. She will clean her room when her father tells her to but seldom helps w/the rest of the house w/o a struggle. |
| posted by Cheryl on 08/19/2007 08:26 PM
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