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| Stay at Home Moms |
| Public online group |
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| Hello, I am new to the group. I have so much to talk about! Where to start?!
Well, we were married last May and now have a 3 month old son. I was laid off last September, so I kinda got used to being "home". However, I've never really been one to sit at home. I was traveling, enjoying all the free time in the world! I even branded cattle at about 7months. Since we had already adjusted our budget to our circumstance, the decision to stay home was made. I did have the opportunity to work part time, 3 days a week. However, I do not have reliable, affordable child care. Which is a whole other story in its own! Anyways, I am feeling as every SAHM does, I suppose. Lonely, bored, stressed out. When DH gets home, he usually falls asleep on the couch. Why doesnt he get that i havent had any adult interaction for the last 9 hours and need him to mot only pay attention to me, but take the baby off my hands for a minute?!! He has only been alone with DS for a maximum of 3 hours at a time and called me to come home because baby was screaming. It is taking a huge toll on our marriage. Sex life? Forget about it. My confidence is shot. I'm usually too tired or too annoyed for anything anyways.
I clearly need some advice/ support from other mamas out there. There are not any groups here, and if there was, I could never be completely honest at them. Small towns DO have a downside to them. Looking forward to words of encouragement! TIA |
| See also: Frustrated, lonely, annoyed, new mom |
| Posted by Rae on 06/26/2013 01:19 AM
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| Hi Rae I'm Aimee I am also a stay at home with a 1 year old and a 2 1/2 year old and trust me I know exactly how you feel. I was in the same boat as you a month ago sooooooo lonely but never alone. I do all the housework, doc appts, feeding changing playing teaching cuddling bathing bedtime stories and he works and sleeps. This is the third night in a row we were supposed to have sex and guess who is asleep on the couch! But the most important thing you can do is find something that is JUST FOR YOU, a book a movie a game and a friend if you can. I still don't have any and live in Show Low Az.....boring. If you have a library see if they have a story time you can take the baby to. I know it's hard to get ready and go anywhere but drink a lot of coffee and go you might meet another mom. Where do you live? |
| posted by Aimee on 06/26/2013 01:31 AM
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| Boring?! Tell me about it. I live in a small town where everyone knows all your business and entire genealogy lol. Las Vegas, nm. It's true, there is another Vegas. Same story. Husband passed out on couch as we speak. Why do they think staying home is some sort of vacation? I smell like sour milk all the time and am going bald. How am I supposed to feel sexy... I feel like going back to work sometimes, but I can't punish my baby lol. We can afford for me to stay home, so it makes sense. But if I ask why can't you pick up your clothes and put it in the hamper, the response is literally "that's what you're for" or I'm at work all week, why can't you just help me by picking them up instead if telling at me".... OH. Get real.
As for getting out, I travel to my home town and sleep there once a week. I drive a huge gas guzzler though, so it's costly. But it's something I won't give up. It's all I have, really. Which is going to be just as boring because my sister is moving and I won't have her company. Just my 80 year old grandma who repeats her gossip because she's not sure who she told it to lol |
| posted by Rae on 06/26/2013 02:07 AM
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| Omg people say lol all the time but I really am laughing out loud haha! My husband did the same thing and I yelled at him and told him "I might be your bitch to your friends but baby I ain't your BITCH! Do it yourself or it ain't gettin done once he had to go without clean clothes he started helping out haha. My family is all in Tucson 4 hours away and staying home with your baby is awesome when you find something to do for yourself. Ok now here's what I think and don't be offended its not meant that way but I think you need to take care of your baby's mama first because a happy mom makes a happy baby any shit that your feeling baby will feel it too and tantrums and crying will escalate as ur frustration does. When this happens walk away plug your ears and slowly count to ten then go back and kindly start over.now after I had my babies I kinda went a little nuts and I couldn't understand why all of a sudden I was so angry and negative then I went to a psychiatrist to find out why and she put me on Zoloft and lamictal and oh boy do I feel better and now that I feel better everybody else including my husband does too. As a mom and wife we are frequently the biggest problem and also best solution. Maybe you could get some medicinal happy for now haha. Hormones go nuts and don't ever really go back to how they were. As far as the smell haha I use scented lotion all day haha and one more thing this might sound weird but when ur alone next and baby is asleep and its quiet close ur eyes and really try hard to stop all other thoughts and picture in your mind what would make you feel happy like husband cleaning, having sex and perfect baby pretty hair for you and skin picture what makes you feel sexy and like a woman, do this every time you can and it will happen. And if worse comes to worse sign up on Adam and Eve .com and get huge discounts on a B.O.B ( battery operated boyfriend) |
| posted by Aimee on 06/26/2013 02:33 AM
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I can totally relate.... My son is now 4 yo. We had planned for me to stay home after having our son. But it still is a big change in your life.
I have two recommendations; see if there is a moms group near you (www.momsclub.org)...
I also read "The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide: Field-Tested Strategies for Staying Smart, Sane, and Connected While Caring for Your Kids". It covers all of your concerns and frustrations. SERIOUSLY, helpful!!
Wishing you the best!!
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| posted by Helene on 06/26/2013 07:50 AM
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the end of my post got cut off, when i try to leave without a kid in tow he tells me hes surprised i dont take them, like im the bad guy, i want to slap him sometimes and say youve just spent the past 5 days by yourself can i have 5 minutes! i live off of coffee and he tells me i look washed up, jeez dude i cant imagine why! Good luck ladies |
| posted by kate on 06/28/2013 09:18 AM
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I Completely understand how you feel! We just moved to Alabama from Connecticut and i became a stay at home with 5 kids! He has 3 girls ages 8,6,3 and i have a boy and a girl ages 4,2. He travels for work so its just me and them 5 days a week, every week. By the time he gets home he tells me im giving him a headache cuz i dont stop talking he doesnt get that i havent talked to another adult in days. He told me i have "bare bones responsibility" staying home, is he flippin kidding me!?!?!?!?! I told him hes just a paycheck im a mom, dad, housekeeper, laundromat, chef, chauffer, triage nurse, doctor, therapist, friend and a million other things. Even when hes home he sits in his recliner and is on his phone he does nothing. On top of all this we got a puppy a few weeks ago and he nudges me to get up when she needs to go out in the middle of the night. i pack and unpack his travel bag, and at dinner time he sits at the table and waits for me to serve him his plate like a 1950s housewife! What makes it all worse is were not married weve been dating for a little over a year, his kids scream all the time, throw tantrums during which they pull out their own hair and i have to deal with all that and the other baggage thry came with due to a loser mother. When his girls act up all he says is they dont like when im away, well youve been traveling their entire lives so when are they gonna get over it. Dealing with staying home with your own kids is hard enough without everything that comes along with someone elses. I never get to go anywhere alone, everytime i try to leave alone he tells me hes surprs |
| posted by kate on 06/28/2013 09:32 AM
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