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| Parents of Teens |
| Public online group |
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| Well, it has officially happend, my 15- 1/2 year old son has discovered girls. We went on a cruise last week and my son met a girl and had his first kiss and more! My biggest concern is he is a straight A student and he has a big year ahead of him. He now talks to her and other girls on the internet everynight. He has so much confidence now that he realizes girls like him. Has anyone dealt with this yet, how do you allow them to date and still keep their mind on school. I would love to know how others handle this... Thanks! |
| Posted by Jennifer on 08/16/2007 11:09 AM
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We have gone through it with our 15yr old son. It started with his sister's friends thinking he was cute. When he would bring the subject up we talked about the different types of personalities they had, including the very best looking one, sexy boy crazy-eyeing all men- with no depth or 'brains', to the attractive but larger built one with many interests and brains- to the 'less physically attractive" girls. We talk of emotions and the differences between boys & girls', who dresses which way, why they do, and what they are looking for...do you want a girl who is physically aggressive?, one that you would be worried about with the other guys? how far do you want to go now? Are you just practicing flirting? With whom? and what messages are you sending? Girls take it more seriously than guys....
We don't allow phone calls, text msg, or internet after 9pm. We don't allow dating until 16yrs old. or parties.
We do allow youth group activities. Which allows time to interact socially all they want without physical contact. I think we have tried to teach that dating is for looking for a spouse, not for personal entertainment fo egos. I'm not sure how to explain it, other than we talk to them everyday about everything. When they go somewhere we ask questions and when they get home they tell us all about their activity, Not a drilling session, more relaxed and with specific questions...such as "How did Carrie handle to you hanging with Susie at the mall?"....
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| posted by Tina on 08/16/2007 11:37 AM
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Daniel just turned 16 and we haven't had to deal with that yet since he's homeschooled and doesn't like to do things where he interacts with people. I think, though, when he gets a job it won't be long before he gets a girlfriend.
I have to sneak in comments in teachable moments because if he thinks we are talking about boy/girl relationships, he will cut off the conversation and walk out of the room. He's embarassed so easily.
So I'm interested to see others' responses to this topic. |
| posted by Kelly on 08/16/2007 12:06 PM
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| My daughter started dating at 16. She is an excellent student, and very responsible. I have always talked to her about boys, sex, relationships as I feel this part of our life is one of huge significance. People spend the larger part of their life consumed with being in, getting in or finding someone to have a relationship with...I feel it is paramount to make the best influence for the most posotive situation early on as it will set a standard of what is to come. She realizes that her now boyfriend is perfect for her NOW, he has the same goals as she does, i.e. education, saving the planet, self respect etc. She enjoys having her first love and this experience has been very good for her. My husband and I felt it imperative to get to know her boyfriend and her family, not too close but enough to be able to call them and talk about our kids...I highly recomend this because it has really been helpful to have two sets of parents involved with such a delicate thing (first love, sex, etc.) They have dated for almost two years now, they are getting ready to say good-bye for now as my daughter leaves for a college on the West Coast and he will be attending a Boston college (we live in Hawaii), they will be leaving as friends and I have to say I am grateful for their finding eachother, they had a wonderful, healthy relationship. I cannot stress how important it is to really listen and communicate with your child on this subject. But be ready to hear things you don't want to, like your child losing their virginity, be ready to just listen sometimes, they don't want to hear about YOUR experience, be ready to let go. Explain that if they are responsible honest and communicate (even when it's hard) it'll make it a little easier for you to let go, the consequences on the other hand are quite the opposite if they do things to cause a parent to no longer trust...I hope that my other two children will have the same posotive experiences and realationship with my husband and I as my daughter did. |
| posted by tara on 08/16/2007 02:22 PM
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