I am a new mom and struggling with breast feeding.  My baby is one week old.  How long should I let her eat?  I have been told 15min, but she seems hungry and continues to cry.  Should I let her eat as long as she wants and wait for her to fall off?  Should I wake her to eat between 2-3 hrs after feeding or let her wake and let me know?  I guess the tough part is every baby is different so how does one figure it out?  Any ideas would be great!

Dear Christine,

Congrats on the birth of your new daughter.

I am a mom to two sons who I breast fed exclusively.

I'd let her feed as long as she wants. She will pull of when she is full or you are empty. If she falls asleep on your breast, gently break the suction with a finger. You don't want to let her sleep on the breast or she will develop a habit of using your breast as comfort and may not be able to sleep without you.

My rule was never wake a sleeping baby:-) She will wake when she is hungry and fuss a bit. When you feed her she may fall right back to sleep. I used to have to tickle my guys feet a bit when that happened to get them to nurse for the 20 minutes and not fall right back to sleep. Also you can unwrap her a bit if she is falling back to sleep without getting a good enough meal.

My boys taught me to breastfeed. Just relax and let nature take its course. Babies eat, sleep and poop. If she is doing all 3 you are doing a great job:-)

Good luck. Hope this helps a little.

Char

Thanks Charlene for your input.  I agree with never wake a sleeping baby, but my doctor says to not let her go beyond three hours before the next feeding.  She had been sleeping this morning for 4 hours and I decided to wake her, which of course ended up with 2 hours of crying.  I feel there are so many "rules" and I am just so confused about what to do.

How did you get your sons to go back to sleep after a middle of the night feeding?  After I feed her she doesn't want to lie down and will cry.  She only wants to be held and that of course leads to no sleep for me.

The first 3-4 months are brutal, but you actually get used to the lack of sleep. The first month you will put the phone in the refrigerator, the milk in the oven etc. It is just so hard to adjust to the lack of sleep. But it does get easier I promise.

My night time trick I guess was never to turn the lights on or use just a dim night light. I went to the same chair to nurse each time or in my bed then returned them to their bed which was right by mine. I'd lay a hand on them in their basinet. I also often nursed them on a memory foam pillow on my lap and then transfered that to the basinet, which was a tight fit. Pillows are dangerous for babies, so it has to be firm and a really tight fit so they can't roll over. When they are newborns that was easier. I didn't do it when they got old enough to move around. But the pillow trick worked. The pillow got warm and they didn't wake up transfering them into a cold or hard bed. When they are older they sleep much deeper and it is easier to move them.

Babies hours get switched around and they don't care if it is day or night. When she naps you need to nap. Day, night when ever. Try to catch some rest when she does. Even if you can't fall asleep, rest. Your body needs to recover. Sleeping and hour here and there gets easier. Waking up every hour at night gets to be your regular routine. You will fall back to sleep easier as time goes by as well.

My boys never went past the 4 hour mark I don't think. I remember worrying about that as well. The 4 hour mark wasn't that often. I think you'll find that she wakes normally within a comfortable window and it gets easier to relax about it more each day.

As for the crying for 2 hours. It just depends on the baby I think. My first son cried every night starting at 6-7pm for like 5 hours. The only thing that stopped him was a bath. The moment I lifted him out of the bath he'd start screaming again. My dr. said it would stop at 4 months old and I swear almost to the day at 4 months it just stopped. My second son didn't do that at all. He hardly ever cried. She may have had gas or a trapped burp, or it could just be a bad night. You'll get to know her and her cries and you'll know each cry and what it means. They all sound different, hungry, hurt, burp etc.

Good luck.

Charlene

Thanks again for the great advice.  Last night was a little easier.  After her 3:00am feeding she fell asleep in my arms, but when I tried to transfer her she would wake up and cry.  My husband and I tried to use a heating pad just to warm the sheets and then put her down, no luck she still cried.  I fell asleep with her on my chest in my bed for about 3 hours.  This seems to be a cycle for her right now.  At least it wasn't a repeat of 3 hours of just crying.  I just wish I could figure out a way to move her to her crib.  I don't want to establish a bad habit, but then again she is only 1 1/2 weeks old.

Dear Christine,

Congrats!!! I'm a new mom too of a 7 1/2mo old son. a key thought someone gave me was babies will cry if they're hungry. That being said, I never woke Collier at night. I fed him on the 3's -- 3a, 6a, 9a, 12p, 3p, 6p, 9p. Charlene is correct: as your daughter feeds tickle her feet if she starts to fall asleep. I stroked Collier's jaw right under the ear lobe because it encouraged sucking. 30min is normal for a feed, there were times it was closer to 45 min. Be sure to take your time and be patient with yourself and with your daughter. Breast feeding was a time to relax with my baby. Wake her during the day if necessary, but not at night. That will also help keep her from turning her days and nights around. I agree with Charlene: keep the room dark. For the 3a feed don't turn on any lights. My husband got up and did the diaper change and then handed him to me. All of it was done in the dark. The environment is consistent. When he was done, I gently laid him back in the bassinet. Another suggestion is swaddling -- Woombies are a godsend.

I'm struggling with naps now .. probably because of a few things. I never regretted having Collier fall asleep on me, and I know I wasn't getting solid sleep. Try establishing the routine YOU need. Your daughter may dismantle it, but you will learn more about what she needs, and she will adapt as well. With the struggles I'm having with naps, where we were golden was night time routine. That was established early on, it's been absolutely consistent ever since and thankfully it's worked. If you have friends or family that are willing to stop over so you can hand her off and nap, do it. I was one of those who never napped while Collier did, but he wasn't a very good napper. Still isn't.

I broke the rules about pillows and blankets. Collier was swaddled, and I would lay a blanket over him to keep him warm -- It was January. I made sure the blanket stopped just above his waist. I also used 2 down pillows instead of a boppy. They worked better for us. He felt cradled and cushioned and he was comfortable. You can also try rolling up some blankets to act like channels or bumpers on either side of her. I've done it all along with Collier. Hope this has been of some help.

take care -- beth