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| Single Parents |
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I am a 21 year old single mom of a 7 week old little boy. A lot of the people I was friends with before I got pregnant cannot relate to the parent issues, so it's been a struggle. I don't have any family here either. I live with two friends in Jupiter who opened their doors to me. I'm so busy taking care of my son and trying to take care of myself, I dont see how Ill ever find a man who will be willing to take us on. Like I have the time or energy to date...ha! But it will get better right? Im just not really sure where I could meet someone....
Just looking for some hope! |
| Posted by Christine on 08/15/2007 01:23 AM
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I wish I could say that I have it all figured out, but I will say that I BELIEVE that it will happen for us. My son is 2 years old and he is a beautiful, happy little boy. I have friends and family who have helped us and been wonderful, but I long for someone that knows exactly what I'm going through. I have married friends with kids and single friends without kids, and neither one really understands.
I realize that it is important for me to go out and find groups or activities that I am interested in and then I will meet people that share things with me. I believe that there are lots of men out there who are willing to get to know a mother and her child. We just have to make sure we are doing our best to take care of ourself and our child. The more we feel strong, and self-confident the more we will be attractive to someone else. Does that make any sense? This is a little pep talk for myself as well. :) Good Luck and Congratulations on your little boy. |
| posted by Julie on 08/15/2007 09:44 AM
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Yes -- you will meet someone!!!!! You're 21 now ... you may not know it,
but you are really young. Just take care of your baby and yourself.
Give it time. Even if it takes a few years, you'll still be young. Really.
I'm single at 43 and I know there's still time for me too. Don't worry --
just take good care for now.
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| posted by on 08/16/2007 02:33 PM
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I totally understand you....it is very difficult to be a single mom, especially when your baby is still so young. I'm 23 and a single mom of a 5 week old little boy. I am happy, and proud to be a mommy, and my son is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Nevertheless, it is lonely and difficult to be the only one physically, emotionally, mentally and financially providing for the baby, but it is all worth it. I sometimes feel like I just don't want to find anyone, because I don't want to spend time looking, when I can be spending it with my son.
However, I also realize that there is time, and I will not be alone forever if I don't want too. Look at your cup half full and enjoy your son, everything else will follow, I go through the same thing every day, so trust me, it will be ok. Take care and God bless you and your little one.
Take care. |
| posted by J on 08/23/2007 06:30 PM
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| Hello single mama's I'm new to the site-group. I have a happy healthy 4 month old baby boy-towing the line as well. I completely relate to what ya'll said-I sometimes feel like damaged goods-and wonder the same-if I'll ever find someone to help tow the line and treat my son as his own- BUT, I'm not ready yet- I'm still processing the loss of my dream-I was engaged with the baby's father-2 months after he was born-the father "Just wasn't having any fun anymore."-so he has moved back with his twin brother to play poker, drink, and generally carry on. We need to stick together! |
| posted by Jayne on 08/24/2007 10:25 AM
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| "Any man can be a father, but it takes someone very special to be a daddy". My baby girl and I are still waiting for that special someone. I know how you feel, Im 21 and all alone. It gets tough but I now know I will never just settle with a man. |
| posted by Reannen on 08/27/2007 03:19 PM
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Ladies,
I was in the same boat you are all in. I was 21 with a brand new daughter - her father left us when I was 7 months pregnant. I met my sons father (who happens to be my ex-husband now) when my daughter was 6 weeks old. I was absolutely terrified of trying to do it on my own so held on much longer than I should have to a failing marriage (she was a little over 1 when we got married) He adopted her and all. Here I am now almost 11 years later glad that I'm a single mom to two great kids and know that when I find someone that I'll have the experience behind me to know I can do it on my own and don't need a man - as nice as it would be to have the adult companionship. I say all of this to say - enjoy your children while they are young, prove to yourself you can support yourself and your children before you rush into a serious relationship. Everyone involved will be happier in the long run. (Hope this doesn't sound "preachy" - but I wish someone had told me the same thing when I was younger, except then I wouldn't have my son and that would be awful) |
| posted by Punky3175 on 08/30/2007 03:07 PM
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| Sometimes I wonder the same thing! I haven't been single for too long, but I am over my sons father and I am ready to find someone who knows how to treat me!! Agh. I will tell you that I have put a profile up on yahoo personals...not with too much emphasis on meeting people in person, but it is always nice to hear from people who like my profile...I have emailed with a couple guys...nothing too much past the first or second email. But it reminds me that there are good guys out there and there are men who don't worry too much about how you look or what not...they are interested. I have been completely honest and they know I have a son from my profile...and still talk to me...it isn't hopeless. It will happen when you least expect it. Focus on you right now...your baby is so tiny...love him and focus on being the best mommy that you can be...and everything else will fall into place...have faith. Don't worry. You may not be 100% ready to start something...and that is why it hasn't happened yet. Like I said...focus on you for a while...once your life is put together then you will be able to look into a relationship with someone else...! |
| posted by Elise on 01/13/2008 09:36 PM
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I can relate to not having any family nearby. My family is 8 hours from where I live. If my mom wasn't able to come help me I would be lost right now. Not just from needing someone to help with the day to day things, but feeling so alone right now. Things with my ex were bad, but I had someone to talk to and share things with. And I don't have that anymore. It makes it harder.
My daughter is 3 months old and I have been single since she was 5 days old. I'm not ready to meet someone, the pain is still to fresh and to knew. And to be honest I don't want the headaches of trying to date right now. But someday, there will be someone who will love me and care about me and who will be a good role-model for my daughter. There is someone out there for everyone, as long as we are willing to let them in when we meet them and don't let our past experiences get in the way. Trust is going to be the hard part. How do you trust someone that much again after someone hurts you the way all of us have been hurt? I thought I had forever and it was just an illusion. How do I trust that someone else won't do the same thing to me? |
| posted by Kate on 01/15/2008 08:28 AM
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