Hi Everyone. I just joined this group as I am seaching for support and help with my working mom guilt. I have a 13 month old boy and my husband and I both work very demanding jobs which require a lot of overtime. I knew before my son was born that guilt woul dbe part of the game and that I would never feel like I am giving 100% in any area of my life again. The older my son gets the harder it is for me to deal with...

The thing is, I really have a perfect situation in most ways and do count my blessings. My mom and MIL take turns watching my son and are so happy to do so. I have a job that I love and have been at for 13 years. I find it rewarding and they compensate me well. I do have to put in a lot of hours though. My son is a very happy well adjusted boy. So everyone is doing fine but I am not. I would be crazy to walk away becuase I could never go back to my career. I am so afraid I will wake up someday 1 year, 5 years, 10 years form now and have regrets and feel like I missed so much of my sons life. However, I do feel that wokring makes me a better mom in some ways and I don't want to walk away from my job and have regrets later for that as well.

I don't have anyone to really vent to so thank you for listening....

Hi Jody,

I understand your guilt about being away from your little boy.  You are so lucky to have your Mom and MIL do the babysitting.  I raised my daughter as a single Mom and hated every day I was away from her.  I remember one day when she forgot to tell me she had to take cookies to school.  She called me as soon as I got to work crying because she didn't have the cookies.  Granted, it was her fault for not telling me the night before but if I had been at home I could have got cookies to school. That was a terrible day at work all I could think about was her not having the those cookies and she was so upset.  I had no family where I lived so there was no one else to help out.  We survived those days I with more scares than she.  I also understand loving your job and it is hard to give up a good job in this economy.

I have found a work from home opportunity that is wonderful and lets you stay home with children.  I currently work my job outside of the home and the job from my home.  It allows you to build your business at your own pace. We don't ask anyone to quit their job.  You do that when you are ready or never.  I am working to replace my income from my outside job and then leave so I can devote all my time to working at home.  It is too late for me to be there with the cookies but I sure will enjoy my grandchildren.

We have opportunities availabe at different times if you are interested in hearing more about this, send  me an email and I will give you a call.

Either way, I would like to keep in touch as a friend to be there for you when you need someone to talk/vent to.

Phyllis

Hi Jody!
Sounds like we are in a similar boat. I just joined the group and I am looking for online friends to help me through the guilt and anxiety of my work. In my case, I actually have to travel for work and sometimes it is intolerable being away from my son.

The option to change careers is not on the table. I am a professional musician and have been since I started at age 9. My career is more of a vocation than a job. I think the one thing I may consider is trying to restructure the travel part. In any case, my husband has been really supportive. But both of our careers are really taking off now and it seems like we are playing tug-of-war with scheduling.

Sounds like I am going off on a tangent...guess I just need to vent. I am away from home right now and get to go back to my son tomorrow. It has been a long five days away and I am really rethinking things today :(

I too experience working mom guilt.  I have 2 little ones, 3/12 and 6 months. I'm also a career woman; I enjoy my work and have been building my career for 15 years, further, financially, I just can't walk away. A working mom I know wrote an article about the myth of work/life balance.  She correctly pointed out, there is no balance - it's impossible.  What is possible is work/life harmony.  Meaning, that there will be times in your life where you are more invested in one part of your life than the other and your job is to make it work. My guiding principle when I'm struggling with a decision about my time is weighing the return on investment for my time vs an opportunity. If I look back on an opportunity I had, will I regret the choice I made because it wasn't worth it.  For example, there are times when I've prioritized cleaning the house 3 weekends in a row. By the third weekend, when I know I've done nothing purposeful with my children, I'll stop myself and ask myself, if I were dying right now, would I say to myself "I wish I had spent more time cleaning" or will I say "I wish I had spent more time with my children"?  Same thing with my career, what's the ROI, if I decide to stay late to "catch up", am I doing so to save myself time in the long run and invest in my career, or am I staying late to work on trivial things that can really be done over time, where I don't have to steal this time from my family? 

I'm proud to work outside of the home because I believe that I am teaching my daughters to be independent and strong women that can take care of themselves.  although I've been happily married for nearly 15 years, I can say that I can support myself, my family and my lifestyle without my husband and that is very important to me. I also feel that I'm teaching my children that you can find harmony in your life with everything that is important to you.  My children are important, as is my husband, but so is my career.  My career is for me, it's an investment in me and I won't apologize for that. Yes, there are times when I resent "having" to work but most of the time, I'm happy and feel well-rounded.  I think that's just about as much as you can hope for.