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| My daughter is almost 6 mths old and she doesn't know how to sleep by herself. When she is tired she cries a lot and I have to either walk, rock or breast feed (or a combination) her to sleep. As she is getting heavier, all this is taking a toll on my back. Also she wakes up 4-5 times at night to feed, which is extra tiring for me. For the past few weeks as soon as I put her back in her cot after feeding after a few minutes she will start crying ....as I am so tired by that time, i take her to bed with me. When i wake up in the morning instead of feeling refreshed i feel tired and my muscles are aching. Any suggestions? |
| Posted by ammara on 08/14/2007 10:42 PM
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Well, not to discourage you, but my son is almost 2 and still doesn't sleep through the night. The first thing your pediatrician is going to say is let them cry it out! I could never do that. I DO know, those that are able to tough it up and make it through the screaming have children that sleep all night.
The FIRST thing I would do is try rocking in a chair and not walking around. We had an issue with that for a while because I would rock in a chair and my hubby would walk around and my child wanted daddy since he did the walking.
Does your daughter drink from a bottle at all? Start getting her to drink water from a bottle. She's not waking up to feed but for the comfort from you. If she wakes up and just gets a bottle of water, she'll eventually realize she isn't going to get the nipple and start sleeping longer. It'll be a hell few days for you. My son - at 22 months - was still waking up a few times a night. He'd get 1 water bottle, then wake up again and get a milk bottle and sometimes wake up again and get another water bottle. I stopped the milk bottle all together but have been unable to stop the water bottle. He's only waking up once during the night but I hear ya about being tired.
Your daughter needs to learn to fall asleep by herself and not while nursing. Try nursing her and putting her to bed while you are in the room. We would put our son in his crib and just put our hand through the slates and let him play/talk. I think most of the time we ended up taking him back out and rocking him to sleep because he would keep playing.
Sorry I wasn't much help. I have MANY friends/family who have children who DO sleep through the night so I know it can be done. There's nothing wrong with letting them cry themselves to sleep. From everything I've read, it'll only take 1 week for the baby/child to learn and start sleeping by themselves/through the night.
Good luck! |
| posted by Lucinda on 08/14/2007 10:55 PM
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People will get upset with me for saying this, but you have to make the decision that you really want her to be able to sleep longer, and self soothe. I did it with my daughter at about 8 months of age. I used the Ferber method. People say you should not let them cry themselves to sleep, but I like you was exhausted and could do no more. I was alone and my husband who works away from the home was rarely there to help. So in the best interest of my child and my aching back and for my sanity I went for it. It worked in 2 days, and I assure you my child is not damaged for crying for 2 hours in 2 days time. Before that age this was my method.....I used some formula at night and cluster fed my daughter(cluster feeding is where you feed frequently like every 1-2 hrs small amounts several hours before bedtime. The last feeding was 1 ounce of formula and it worked. I think 6 months is a little young to let them cry it out, but I did not feed my child at night after 6 months of age. They learn very quickly how to get a response, and what ever you do while putting them to sleep is what they immediately want when they wake up. If she is at a good weight ask the doc if you can at least reduce night feedings. I am so sorry you must be so tired. Remember that this too shall pass.
Just follow your heart only you know what is best.
Oh yea and go to a chiropractor it makes mothering so much easier!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| posted by Vanessa on 08/14/2007 11:07 PM
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Here is an article that may help. Not all babies will sleep through the night, but this article has some suggestions for things you can do to move her in that direction.
http://www.helium.com/tm/250628/having-means-losing-sleep
Hope this heps. |
| posted by Marcia on 08/15/2007 06:49 AM
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| My baby is almost a year and he still doesn't go to bed by himself. We tried Ferber - by the book and for a long time. We tried everything - the No Cry approach, the Baby Whisperer. He is getting better, now falls asleep in my arms or lap while sitting in the rocker. But it is tough. We are going to start to transition him to the crib (again) but this time stay in the room with him and just work our way really slowly out by moving the chair away from the crib a bit every few days. But we are still getting over the last illness - which has really been the problem each time we make progress. I do know that we night weaned and that made a huge difference. Also, we did the Baby Whisperer "lie it down" approach when he woke up at night and now he usually only needs pats on the back when he wakes up (1 or 2 times). He has gotten a lot better and so will your daughter - whether the next thing you try works or not. Good luck. |
| posted by on 08/23/2007 09:05 PM
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| Since we have twins, I have to have a strict schedule and routine. If I did what other moms do with one baby, I would never sleep. The girls eat every 3hrs during the day and now go 4 1/2 - 7 hrs between feedings at night. They are 13wks old. They are breatfed, but sometimes I pump into a bottle so dad can help. When they take a bottle, they drink about 5 oz. I make sure their last feeding at night (8:30pm) is from a bottle, so I know for sure that they are full. They wake around 1:30am and then again around 5am. At night, I don't wake them, I wait for them to wake up on their own. I think it's about routine. The girls get fussy when it gets close to feeding time during the day, but I hold them off until it's time with a pacifier, swing, vibrating bouncy seat, or holding them. It's hard for me to pick up both and soothe both at the same time, so I alternate with many methods to hold them off. For me, it's a matter of survival with the twins, but it's working very well. One of the other moms mentioned that you have to want them to stay sleeping. I know it's tempting to continue to enjoy your baby at night when it's quiet, but it's too hard to continue for an extended amount of time. The girls also sleep alone in their own crib at night. |
| posted by Jenn on 08/24/2007 04:43 PM
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Ammara,
First off i can tell you that taking her to bed with you is why you aren't feeling refreshed in the morning, and that is because subconciously you know your baby is in the bed with you and your body will not completely shut down for fear of rolling over on your baby. I would suggest not taking her to bed with you anymore, you need your sleep to be at your best to care for your baby. At 6 months old babies are capable of starting to learn to self soothe. I'm one of the lucky ones, my daughter started sleeping through the night at 2 months, and now, at 4 months, she usually puts herself to sleep. It takes about a mintue of fussing in her crib but she does put herself to sleep for her naps. I do rock her at bed time though, i can't give that one up just yet. But it is a learned thing and babies do need to learn to self soothe, it's a very important part of their development. And the waking up as soon as you put her down might be gas. I know it's horribly taboo but try putting your baby to sleep on her tummy, she may just not be comfortable on her back. Our parents put us to sleep on our tummies and we're still here. And many older mothers i've talked to say that girls just sleep better on their stomaches. |
| posted by Amanda on 08/24/2007 11:07 PM
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My baby definitely sleeps better on his stomach and has since 6 months or so. I think around that time the SIDs concern drops dramatically - since they can roll over on their own. And it really did help the gas situation.
One idea - maybe you transition from bed to easy chair or sofa and then to crib. Would be steps - but would get her used to not being in the bed and then to the crib. That is only if you want to take steps. Sometimes diving right in is easiest, although harder initially. |
| posted by on 08/25/2007 09:20 AM
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