Hi,

the father of my kids never spent time with me or treated me well, even when he found out about the kids.

and i found out after leaving the state that he started dating a girl before  my kids were born and now he is married and wants something to do with the kids because his wife keeps losing their babies.

but i am worried, because she talks about going to the bars and how she use to have girl friends when she was married to her daughters father. and my ex is as unmoral as he was when we were together. he excepts everything and cant stand on his own two feet. and he has warrents and has failed drug test several times, and i don't really want them around my innocant angles, but he is threating to take me to court.

can somone give me advice to what to do?

Hi Kali,

I wouldn't say not to let a father see his kids, unless he had some issues.  Which, it sounds like, your ex has.

I wouldn't volunteer the children to him.  This would show that you feel he is capable and trustworthy enough to have your kids.  This 'testimony' on your part could be damaging.  I would let him take you to court.

From the sound of your post, you don't live in the same jurisdiction as your ex.  Actually, it sounds like you no longer live in the same state.  If you and your kids are legal residents of another state, your ex will probably have to come to your court to file a petition.  And, if he is as disinterested a dad as you make him sound to be, that may just be too much work for him.

Just in case he does, get any and all information you can find on any failed drug tests, any criminal record in any jurisdiction, and find out about any outstanding warrant for his arrest.  Have this information ready to present to the court should he decide to file.  This may make it difficult for him to get custody/visitation.  (If I had these concerns, I would give his address to the authorities that have the outstanding warrant for his arrest.)

If he takes you to court, and you have this information, you have a good case for why he shouldn't have visitation or custody.  Maybe it makes a difference between visitation and supervised visitation, where at least another person will be there to make sure your kids are alright.

This could be an ugly fight if your ex wants to see his kids badly enough.  If he is truly as bad as you say, you will have to fight hard for your kids.  They need you now more than ever.  God bless and all the best for your, and your kids', future.

hi,

im kinda in the same situation. my sons dad started dating a 17 yr old while i was pregnant. he has not been around since i was pregnant. once i had my son he wanted to come around but he still drinks and does drugs. and hes in trouble with the law. i wont let him see my son unless he gets it approved by a judge. if he cant change his ways and act like a parent there is no need for him to be around my son doesnt need to grow up around that. its your choice on what u think is right. dont let him talk you into something you dont feel is right. i wish the best for you and hope everything works out. i know its hard.