I am a stay at home mom with a 18 month old girl. My husband thinks that since his mother was able to raise 4 children and keep the house clean and cook all the food that I should be able to do that too. What he seems to forget is that his mother had to do it because his dad was always at the fire department so she had no choice. My husband comes home from work anywhere from 12AM-3AM and then stays up until 7AM, then he goes to bed and sleeps until 2 or 3 then gets up and comes out and sits in front of the TV or runs outside to go work on the car(he leaves for work at 4). Then I get yelled at for not letting him see his daughter if I'm not home when he gets up. I take her EVERYWHERE I go! Can anyone give me some advice?

Oh the woes of wifelyhood and motherhood. I don't know that I can give you any advice per say, however you are not alone in your struggle. Some husbands feel that they go to work and pay the bills and that's enough, but a mothers work is never done. All you can do is your best, try not to be a perfectionist and conquere everything at once. Do only one small task a day in addition to your normal routine. For example vaccum one day, mop the next, and so on. Ask your husband for help, explain to him that it takes two and his help would really allieviate your stress level. For example when my husband comes home from work he takes our son outside to play, feeds him dinner and gives him his bath. It's daddy time, maybe you can arrange a time each day where you're husband and daughter can bond and he can help out, maybe feed her lunch and take her to the park before work. It's really the little things that count and any opportunity to bring them together will not only give you a break but make your husband feel like he's able to spend time with your daughter. However, it takes communication and work on both ends, he has to be willing to spend that time with her and not watching tv or tinkering around on the car. It also requires you to run errands and play date at other times besides the time daddy's awake. I hope this helps, I know how frustrating it is, believe me. Just remember even if your husband doesn't tell you, don't forget your value. The hardest job in life is being a wife and mother, I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job. We are our own worst critics. Remember you are not alone, we are all in this together sometimes it just doesn't feel that way.

You're in my thoughts,

Jamie Rathod

i have two sons under 3y/o. my husband mostly works  12am to 8 am. we had some struggles at first. but over the years we now have a routine. when he gets home a little after 8am he will play with the boys then go to bed around 10am and i dont let him sleep past 6pm. then he gets up and helps me put the boys to bed. when we had our first son there were many fights as to what our specific duties were. it was hard being a new mom. i never cleaned house before my first son was born and now im a neat freak. it sounds like you need to tell him this is how its going to be. i know how hard it is to be a sahm. people think its all fun and games but in reality sometimes its torture. hardly getting out of the house cleaning all day every day and chasing after screaming children can be a real hassle. maybe you could make a daily scheldule. tell him exactly how you feel and say hey if you want us then help and quit witchin. thats what i told my husband. we werent very good at the whole communication thing before that . well i know i cant really give you any advice but if you ever need someone to talk to im here. good luck  and i hope everything works out for you