If anybody is around, I could use some support and/or advice.  My 8 year old (boy) is trying my patience to no end - he's smart, and sweet most days, but lately it seems every thing I tell him to do (or not do), he either ignores me or says "no".  When I attempt to punish him, he just refuses to comply.  Last night, I literally had to physically drag him to our steps (which is where the kids sit for "time out") and make him sit down.  By that time, the situation had escalated and he was screaming and crying.  I attempted twice to speak to him calmly after the incident but he just kept screaming at me to "stop talking" to him.  His father and I are separated, and he is also pitting me against his dad.  His dad has emotional issues and is constantly threatening to call "authorities" on me whenever the kids have any kind of bump or scrape.  Now, every time I raise my voice to my 8 year old, he says I "terrify" him and make him feel "threatened".  I'm sure I do, because after asking him literally 6 or 7 times calmly and nicely, I do yell at him!  But if he starts to discuss being "terrified" of me with his dad, it's going to cause a lot of heartache.  My son is a very sensitive kid and I try to take that into consideration but at the same time, he needs to understand that he is to listen to me and do what I say.  His father is very, very strict and I think that he feels that when he's with me, it's his only chance to "express" himself and have a chance to be defiant.  I have tried to talk to him (my son) about that, and he agrees that is what is happening.  But he keeps saying, "I can't help it, I can't help acting that way."  What am I to do here?  Last night, I was so frustrated, I wanted to hit my son - I didn't, but I came close and I don't want to use corporal punishment.  I was beaten as a child and the last thing I want to do is inflict the same thing on my kids.  I have tried time outs, taking away favorite toys, putting him to bed, restrictions on TV time - but nothing works.  I feel ready to give up but I can't because I want to teach my son the right thing. HELP!