We have been working with our 3 year old since he was 2. I have tried all the "tricks" to get him to go but he just won't go. He will go on his own time. Like when we're at the mothers day out program, where i volunteer at, he will tell me he has to go and i'll take him and sure enough he'll go but at home even with a timer he refuses to go. i do reward him even if he goes to sit on the potty and attempts to go. i even give him credit when he pulls his own pants down and pulls them up and washes his hands. i dont want to sound mean when i say i think he is being lazy about going. i know he can go and i know he knows how to go. my m-i-l says that one day he'll just get up and go with out thinking about it and im like when? lol  i have been consistent with him i just dont know what to do. i have carpet and microsuede furniture. if i had neither he'd be without undies at all!! Does anyone have suggestions? have you had this problem if so how did you handle it?

It's obvious that he knows better and just chooses not to do the right thing.  I would put him in time-out to think about it.  I think it's great to reward good behavior, but it's also sometimes necessary to discipline bad behavior.  Good luck :)

Sounds like you know the best way is to let him be without undies, pants, etc.  Since you can't do that, have you tried training pants?  Very different from pullups.  These do not make them feel comfy dry. 

Follow the link to training pants info. 

http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/CTGY/Potty-Training-Pants.html

I don't know if it will help but this is what we recently been suggested to do. My son is almost 3 and a half he refuses to go to the bathroom at home at daycare they say he tells them and goes when they take him. I have tried to be patient but he is almost 4 now and it's about time he start to tell me when he has to go. I set an egg timer and take him about every 15 minutes. Since i'm  stay at home mom that's a little easier for me.

Now when we go to the bathroom (sometimes thats a little tough cause he will fight me all the way to the bathroom and sometimes I have to carry him in there). I give him the option to stand at the potty and if he doesn't I grab out the snap on potty seat and he has to sit there for 3 minutes. After the first couple times of this he has decided standing at the potty is better then sitting on it. He goes sometimes and I do reward him but we still fight on our way to the bathroom. I would give him the option stand at the potty or sit on the potty and rewards only when he does go.

Good luck!