Hi just joined the group. 

I'm a newly single mom who finds that my biggest issues are not being angry with my daughter's father. 

I can't seem to get over it or get past sending him angry text messages, this isn't the person I want to be. I know that I should move on with my life but I can't seem to. I just wanted to have a nice family and instead I got someone who turned away as soon as I got pregnant. 

Now not only do I have to live with my parents but start from scratch and have NOTHING again because of him. He left me with over a thousand dollars in bills and tells me that he's broke so he can't help

Well I hope that this discussion doesn't make everyone think I'm a whiner, guess I just got carried away 

Glad to be here

Hi Mallory - don't be discouraged, I've been there (and am still there in a way), where you are.  My ex hasn't worked in over 2 YEARS and he owes me about $600.00 in support that he says he doesn't have or when he can pay me. And I know what you mean about getting "sucked in" to the text message thing.  I try not to engage, but hey, we're all human.  I've enlisted a friend that I send the text messages to instead - that way, I get to have my say and she knows when I need to vent, and just lets me "go off" - it does help.  I'm trying to look at things this way... yes, we have to start our lives over but now I can, piece by piece, build the kind of life and home that makes me happy without consulting anyone else or worrying about another opinion.  I just moved into my apartment a couple of weeks ago, and I can't afford to get everything I need right away.  But I'm learning to be creative and "make do" - for instance, my 7 year old doesn't have a dresser so I've collected several copy paper boxes from our office and tonight, using some shipping/packing tape (the clear stuff), I'm going to "create" a storage "module" for him.  We're going to cover it in white contact paper and he's going to "design" his own "furniture" with markers, crayons, craft supplies and glue.  Then, when I can afford a real chest of drawers, we can retire the "module" to the closet for toys, shoes, umbrella's, etc.  I'm trying not to sweat that kind of stuff.  I hope this helps, even just to know you're not alone in this situation.  And, no, you aren't whining.  It's healthy to talk (or write!) about what's bothering us.

wow Erica I'm so thankful that I joined this group its good to hear that I'm not the only mama who is angry and feeling this way

I hope that someday I can get all my stuff together and have our own apartment. 

I'm sure I'll have lots more to say in the coming weeks 

thank you mamas

We'll be here!  You'll be "together" before you know it - maybe not totally (who ever is??) but enough to eek out a life.  I looked around my place today and I'm trying to keep things in perspective - I haven't had a chance to unpack and my kitchen floor is SO discusting... but the kids had a relaxing morning, a hot breakfast (yay frozen pancakes!) and I got them to school on time - and THAT is what is important.

I've been so stressed out today was really bad, trying to get a job and do all the things I need to do while living with my mom is stressful. My nana (love her to pieces) simply won't stop nagging about everything

my daughter was well behaved before I got here and now she is becoming a little brat! And I don't like her being spoiled but I feel like a jerk telling them not to pick her up everytime she cries. I understand its thier grand daugher but come on! 

I Really just wanna get my own place but it seems so far away I still havent even gotten my license back, (hopefully we can do that tomarrow)

I feel like I'll never have it the  way I wanted it and I can't help but blame my ex for being such an asshole, I don't want to see him ever again. I just want to yell at him for making my life the way that it is right now.

I know I can't change the past but I don't know how to get past all the bullshit and move on. Cause I feel like the only way to be happy is to somehow change the past and put us back where we should have been in the first place

I feel like I'm on 16and pregnant or something I hate this I love being able to be around my daughter all the time and I wouldn't; change it for the world I just wish that he would have done that for me. 

I know how bad it is to get hung up on all the things that he did or didn't do but I tried and tried for our relationship to work out and it ended up being all about him and video games or him growing pot its all so childish

Oh and to top all this bullshit off he went to hawaii yesterday, for a "spur of the moment trip" even though he owes me money!

I hate being so angry it sucks I want this angry person out of me but I don't know how to stop

mallory

i am still ther..i am rasing two little girls (1 and 2) by myself because my ex wanted drugs and alcohol more than his family and i refused to stand by him and allow my girls to go through that i too am starting form scratch..i'll be honest i was left with over 3000 dollars in debt had to move back in with my mom too...i moved completely out of the state i was in to my grandmothers and he doesnt even know where we are at in the entire time my children have been alive i have only seen a months worth of diapers and 25 dollars..i look on the brighter side though my children will not be caught up in any kind of drug situation.. i have recently started school and trying to get my shit together as well..as for your parents spoiling her just sit down with them and let them know this is your daughter and this is the way you want to raise her i had to do that with my family..it is good to "vent" about things any way  you can  

have you brought him to court yet about the child support?

if not get in there and talk to them about it for the most part they try to help

I don't know what to do about the child support thing because right now he sends 300 a month and I'm told I'll get less then that because he doesn't and hasn't filed taxes in years,  he grows pot so its hard for me because I know he makes tons of money.

I just don't want to feel pissed off anymore its affecting every area of my life and I really can't stand it. I was never an angry person till I got with him and now I get upset over the littlest thing

So glad I am not the only one who is having a hard time living with the parents.  I love my mom to pieces and don't know what I would do if we could not have come home to them but I understand how you feel.  Every move you make is criticized it is so hard.  I have not lived at home in 5 years and now all of a sudden being told what to do again

Yea Christina its really tough, tougher then I thought it would be, I live with my grandmother as well as my mother and honestly she is so much worse!? I don't know how to really deal with her telling me what to do. 

This snow is making my life so much harder and my nana is getting surgery tomarrow so I'm sure that my life is going to get worse before it gets better.

My nana seriously yells at everybody for everything, she just wants something to complain about. I can't stand it I want to scream all day long but I know that I can't. All I hear from her is how my daughter needs to eat or sleep or be changed when she was just changed two minutes before.

Even now as I write this she has some remark about everything, she even told me that my daughter doesn't like milk cause I feed her the organic kind and the organic kind has no taste to it. EVERYTHING!!! I have to watch her like a hawk to make sure she doesn't sneak my kid crap or talk to her when she's in time out.

Alright enough of me bitching about the same shit I always do.

Christina, glad to have you on board