Don't give up - which I know is difficult when things seem overwhelming. I can relate to your situation. My husband of 8 years and I have been separated for over 2 years, due to his critical attitude and pettiness. We are not planning on a divorce, but I have told him I am unwilling to live with him if he cannot find a way to stop "sweating the small stuff". I understand that we're all different, and some people worry more than others. But it is how that worry is EXPRESSED that needs to be the focus. I don't expect my husband to stop worrying or being picky but he cannot personally "attack" or "pick on" me or the kids as a way to express his anxiety. That is the key. It's so hard to remember that your best IS good enough when there are constant demeaning remarks or criticisms coming your way. It's very important as mothers that we lean on each other for positive reinforcement. Kids are "need machines" and they are naturally self-centered, so mommy-hood is a thankless job at best. Keep reaching out to other moms to reinforce the good things you do - and to keep you from beating yourself up when you do make a mistake (and hey, let's face it, we all do - we're human!). Men are certainly unique from women and their perceptions and expectations are much different, it's true. But in relating to each other, there has to be kindness. Building each other up not tearing down... I hope this helps, even if it's just to know you aren't alone. Keep in contact with us and with friends nearby to share your frustrations and to gain support. |
