Hi! Just wondering if anyone else had had similar challenges... (this is long, so please bear with me).  My children's father feels like he has the "right" to be in total control of our kids' lives.  This past holiday season, after working 180 hours over the 2 weeks leading up to Christmas (i'm in retail), I literally collapsed after the boys went to their dads for Christmas day.  The following day, we had a major snow storm and their dad and I agreed the boys would remain with their father due to weather.  The following day, there was a state of emergency declared, so I decided to catch up on my sleep.  My sons' father tried calling me several times, but I was asleep and did not hear or answer my phone.  Next thing you know, the police are knocking at my door!  My ex had called them, complaining I didn't "show up" to pick up my kids.  As an aside, I'd just moved into a brownstone and my door was frozen shut, so I spoke to the police officer through a front window.  He began asking if I was doing drugs, drinking, etc, and I just sort of laughed it off, stating I was sleeping and simply returned to bed.  As is typical of my ex, he continued texting and calling, berating me, which I ignored.  Now I find out that the police report was written up to say I was "too intoxicated to pick up my children" - how can this be?  To make matters worse, my ex is now (for the 3rd time) trying to gain custody of our boys and has even gone so far as to call Division of Youth and Family Services, saying I am unfit because in the months leading up to the holidays, I was exhausted and burned out and left the children in his care twice on "my" days.  Now, their dad hasn't worked in over 2 years, and seems to think that running an online retail store for one of the country's largest companies shouldn't cause me so much stress or I should be exhausted.  As many couples who are divorced, we have difficulties communicating, but this is outrageous.  I don't drink (except socially), I don't do drugs, I NEVER go out with my friends, I'm dating - all I do is work and come home to take care of my kids.  Does anyone out there know what I should do?  I can't help but think once DYFS comes through our door, I'm going to get sucked into an unbearable situation - the subjects for those Lifetime "Moment of Truth" movies come from somewhere!  Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope someone out there can give me some good advice on how to handle this really stressful situation!

I am not sure if my story will help you, but I have had my share of ups and downs with my ex, not even husband, too much of a coward to ever marry me....but anyways.  I have 3 children with him, 14g,13b, and 6g.  The 14 year old has decided on her own, that she doesn't want contact with him, except the occasional phone call, but as a deep fulfilling relationship as a father/daughter should have, there is none.  She has decided to limit her contact with him, like protecting her emotions kinda.  I support what she decides cause it is her feelings that get hurt, when broken promises are made.  My son has alot of issues, he is 13 in age, but emotional, socially, he is 10.  He has no outside interets, he struggles in school and has no friends.  He actually lived with his father for 2 years, before he asked me to move back into my house.  My youngest is 6 years old. She feeds off of my sons bad behavior and even though she is young still, I am worried that she will repeat down the same road my son has.  I have had dcfs come to my house and talk to my children twice, as a result of my ex.  There isn't any court order, like when or how much time he gets to see them.  I try to be civil for my kids sake.  My ex, however, makes it very hard to be that way.  I freaked out and was worried that dcfs would come and because of him take my kids from me.  I had to stop getting sucked into his games and negativity and although it is tough to do, I remind myself that I am a good mom, that I am here in there everday lives, taking care of them the best I can.  Leave the rest to god. As long as you are doing your best, then he is just trying to hurt you where ever he can and how ever he can. I finally made the decision that I wouldn't get on the phone with my ex, cause he always turned the subject to something that wasn't his business anymore.  Stand your ground, make you and your kids lives your focus, try not to focus on what your ex does and move in a positive direction. Let him try what he is gonna try.  Have some faith that you aren't doing anything wrong.  Hope is a powerful thing, it is if you let it.  Let it shine, and set out a goal for you and your children.  Fight fight fight if it is needed to defend yourself.  I hope in someway this sheds some light or gives you some support, words of encouragement. I wish you good luck and your in my prayers.

Thank you so much for your encouragement.  Happily, my boys' father has backed off, because I took your advise and stood up to him.  As well, my ex has finally gotten a job (starting tonight) working a 3rd shift, which means I'll have our boys 5 nights a week and most weekends (guess I can't be all THAT bad as a mom!).  It looks like his suing me for custody and support is going to back fire on him, because the children will be residing with me primarily.  However, I'm not vengful and I am simply going to come into court with accurate information.  The boys, meanwhile, are blissfully unaware of any of this, so I'm glad about that.  Thanks again!