Thanks for your suggestion. My life is full right now. I don't have time or room for meeting other moms, I do manage to have two night a week where it is my time. I am in Al-non. It is only an hour but I try to look at it as my personal time for myself and growth. I work full time and try to juggle kids, work, and housework. I am actually looking for another job right now, but the clock is ticking, cause I am a single mom, so I have to find a job that pays well if we want to stay where we currently are at. I put it in God's hands. I hope we can stay here, because we don't have anywhere else to go. But I will deal with it as it comes. That is all I can do. Do the best I am able with what I am dealt. I don't expect my life to ever be perfect. I just want some improvement and for everyone here moving in a positive direction and the result I am striving for is happiness and serenity. I am still dealing with the loss of my best friend and love of my life. It gets alittle easier everyday, as long as I try not to dwell on the issues of him and I. The way we ended wasn't understood by me. Reality is he doesn't want the family thing. So I have no choice but to move on. My kids are putting the effort in to making better choices and realizing their own responsibilities of their actions. It is a work in progress. One day I hope I will be better and all will be happy. As it is gods' will.

Thanks for your suggestions and your reply. I know I am on the right track where my kids are concerned, but my personal issues are, how I met the love of my life, I have known him since high school, yeah we lost touch through the years then reconnected and fell in love. How does that feeling and caring for your best friend/lover compare to the fact I have kids. I realize it is alot, but I don't agree with that as being the excuse of why we can't be together. I wouldn't ever choose betweent them, but I wouldn't let my kids affect and decide wether I wanted to be with someone or not. Not unless there was some danger involved. I just miss the closeness and sharing that a couple has. The intimacy. Not sex. The little things. Knowing that I was special to someone and waking up to someone and going to sleep with someone. The everyday family life. That is what I thought I had. I was wrong. I still miss him everyday. I am not mad, I am just hurt. We were friends before we crossed that line, and I guess I have to learn how to get back to that. If I can. I am trying to stay positive and keep the right mindset. tell your sis she should join and invite me to be her friends. Thanks again Stephanie, I appreciate you. :)