I work part time and am home with both boys 5 days a week.  I feel like all I do is clean up their messes, run around trying to get them to eat the healthiest things possible (to no avail), say, "no, no, no" all the time.  I feel like I can't do what I want anymore and am losing my identity. If anyone has any suggestions, I'm open.

Been there, done that. The only thing I can suggest is trying to have some "mommy time" away from them. It might be hard to arrange, but even if it a trip to the store or going to get a haircut. Simple things like that, if you get out to do it by yourself, sometimes that is just enough of a refresher that is needed, to carry on with the day. It won't be this way forever. There are some pros to them growing up. Take a deep breath and know that your not alone in what you feel. I don't know any remedy for quick-fixing their behaviors, cause you can only do so much and try to influence and encourage good, positive behaviors. Stand your ground and be consistent. It isn't always easy, but it is needed.

Thanks for replying guys.  I have felt a little better since I vowed to stop  being so anxious about messes.  I just have fun with my boys and appreciate every moment I have, because I am so blessed.  They are both healthy and happy and I couldnt ask for anything more.