So I just had the most beatiful baby girl. My frist and WOW HUGE Wonderful! And within a month and a half, my Husband calls me while I am at the store to tell me CPS has gone to his Ex-wifes house and removed his son from her custody and he will be bringing him home to stay.

(His son from a previous marriage is 5 years old) And though he has issues from some of the things that happened to him with his mom, He is a very sweet boy.

I feel bad, guilty I guess. I was enjoying my bonding time with my baby girl. the last 7 months have been hard. I have been trying to make sure I help my baby grow and develop. I feel selfish because deep down I just want to be able to spend some time getting to know my baby. I want to spend time getting used to being a mom. I want to figure out how to be a mommy to her. I know he must feel neglected sometimes. I try really hard not to get mad when he misbehaves for attention when I am trying to spend time with my baby girl (zyada).

 But I don't want to make Nathan feel like he isn't welcome or wanted. Its absouletely sweet how much the two of them love each other. He loves his baby sister. I dont' ever want him to feel like She isn't his family.  And he is a sweet boy, friendly and kind, But there are so many behavioral problems with him that I am at my wits end. I was just learning how to take care of a baby. I  don't know how to care for a 5 year old, much less one that is having problems adjusting himself.

And do I ever feel weird about the "I love you" words with him. I don't want to exclude him. I want him to know we are a family. And I do care about him, he is very bright and sweet. But he isn't my child, and she is. I can't seem to help it. I feel so much for her. But I can't seem to bring that same level of bonding between him and I. It makes me feel like I am a bad person, or I am failing. I don't know what to do about that. He went threw alot with his bio mom. I dont' want to make it worse. But I don't know how to stop some of the problems we are having, or prevent him from teaching those to his baby sister.

I don't know if anyone else has ever been in this position or if anyone has any ideas let me know.