Hi all,

I have a quick question. I hate hearing my baby boy cry and this is my first time being a mother so I picked him up for every cry, whimper or sound he made if he looked discontent. Now if he is awake he wants to be in someone's arms, making it impossible to go out to dinner and having him awake because he'll cry the entire time. Any suggestions on what I can do to break him out of this habit and if this is normal?

you CAN NOT spoil a new born, they need to have your response to feel safe and grow into a healthy toddler, so you have been doing a great job!  it can be frustrating when you find the things you enjoyed before your baby are difficult with your baby, it will get easier with time, we take our twin toddlers out frequently.

I think it's pretty normal for a newborn to want to be held all the time...think about it - your son just spent 9 months in a very snuggly, warm cozy environment and now he's been thrown out in this big, cold world. 

Suzanne is right - you can't really spoil a newborn.  He needs your love and affection right now to begin to learn to trust you and also learn that you'll alway be there - that will actually help him become more independent as he gets older!  All that being said I understand you don't want to just sit around all day holding a baby. 

Swaddling helped my daughter tremendously - once tightly swaddled she would calm right down most of the time.  You might also like to sue a sling so you can carry him around with your hands free to do other things.  My daughter would usually go right to sleep in her sling.  When she got about 3 months old I was able to put her in a bouncy seat in front of a Baby Einstein video - that would give me about 20-30 minutes to do stuff or just relax! 

Finally, I will say as he gets older it won't hurt to let him cry a bit - just make sure he's safe, not hungry, wet, etc and go about your business. 

Sorry such a long post, but I know exactly how you feel and just wanted to let you know that it's really not something to worry aobut - there are too many other things to worry about!  Good luck!

hi, my daughter is 5 months (2 months adjusted since she is a preemie). We were told by the NICU staff and our pediatrician that as long as she is safe and not in distress, let her cry. They said that she will learn to entertain herself and become more independent. But of course, we hold her and interact with her a lot (especially since she goes to work with me). We were also told that you can't spoil a newborn; they just want to be close to mommy and daddy.

I agree that you can't spoil a new born,but its important that you let him have some time alone to discover his fingers and toes. babys cry and leting him cry for a few mintues is ok. sometimes they just need to burn off the extera energy and sometimes when their over tierd they need to be put down so they can sleep. my 12 week old girl would start crying while holding her and as soon as I put her down she stops. on the other hand holding you baby close and talking to him makes him feel important and soon those cries will turn to laughter! I too tried to go out to a restaraunt when my baby was about 6 week old and it didn't work out.she would't stop crying. I thought bringing her out would be good socializing for her, but imagine siting in a resaurant while everyone is eating and you can't....not much fun is it? try takeing him to the mall or park for a stroll insted, he'll get to see a lot more and you'll get to hear all the ooohhs and aaahhs about you adorable baby. just keep on trying things you'll get the hang of it and soon you'll know exactly what every soud your baby makes means and you'll be right ont top of it! good luck !