Hi, I am a 25 year old stay at home mom/student. I have 3 young children their ages are 4, 3, and 1. My oldest 2 children started pre-school this year. It has been a big adjustment for all of us. My kids went from being at home with mom all the time to spending 6 1/2 hours a day 5 days a week at school. The adjustment has been especially difficult for my 3 year old son Jordan. He is normally a very well behaved little boy. Uses his manners, and does what he is told, but at school he just wont listen to his teachers, The teachers have to test each student individually to see if they are where they should be for their age. I know my son is very smart. He knows his ABC's, he can count to 20 in english and to 10 in spanish, He knows his shapes and colors, He can spell his name and we are working on writing. He wil do all this at home but when he is asked to do it at school he wont. The teacher has told me that if he wont complete his test he will have to see a specialist, which is very frustrating b/c i know he can do all those things. I am out of ideas and i don't know what to do next. If anyone has any advice I would really apretiate it. We have even tried special one on one time and a reward system, nothing seems to be working. I am desperate!

As a former pre-school teacher and now a stay at home mom of 2 I can really sympathize with you.  I am so sorry that your little guy is having a difficult time at school and I think there are a few things you can consider. 

1. How happy are you, and more importantly is he, with this pre-school?  There are so many preschools and most teach using a different approach or philosophy.  Maybe he's not performing because he's not comfortable with the approach or the teacher.

2. Definately ask if you could observe the classroom for an hour or so while he is there. If it is a "good" preschool then you should be allowed to observe him in the environment, optimally without him knowing you are there.  Then you will have a better idea of what is going on and you may notice something that is happening that the teacher may not.

3. Maybe he isn't ready to be in school for that long every day.  Is there an option for him to go part time instead?

4. How long has he been there?  If he's just been there for 2 weeks or so, then the teacher has you worried over nothing.  He needs to have time to adjust to the new environment, routine, and not having you there all the time.   I would give him a month and if there is still no improvement then talk about options.

5. Please think of the specialist as just that, someone who your son gets to spend special time with.  It does not necessarily mean there is anything "wrong" with him.  Every child should get to spend one on one time with someone who specializes in speech, occupational therapy, developmental therapy, etc, but unfortunately only a few get that opportunity.  These people are experts in their fields and can only help.  And, if it turns out he does need some help then it is far better for him to get it now than when he gets into elementary school. Many times whatever is going on the child can be rectified before they turn 5.  Try making this a very postive experience for him and be excited about it.  He will definately notice your aversion to seeing a specialist and then he will also be turned off by it or worse, think there is something "wrong" with him.    

Good luck, and please try not to worry.  Parents know their child best and if you are certain there is nothing to be concerned about then there probably is not.  But, why not be told by an expert how perfect and smart your child is?

Lori

Thank you Lori, That was very incouraging. I have observed him in the class and he seems to be ok with group activity just not the one on one. The pre-school he is attending is a really good one. We have a parent committee, and I am the president. We plan all sorts of different activites for the kids and it has been an awesome experience all except for him adjusting. He has been in school for about a month and a half. But I am not going to worry about it to much. We'll just go with the flow and if we have to see a specialist then maybe he/she can figure out why he closes up during the one on one time with the teacher.

Thank you Lori, That was very incouraging. I have observed him in the class and he seems to be ok with group activity just not the one on one. The pre-school he is attending is a really good one. We have a parent committee, and I am the president. We plan all sorts of different activites for the kids and it has been an awesome experience all except for him adjusting. He has been in school for about a month and a half. But I am not going to worry about it to much. We'll just go with the flow and if we have to see a specialist then maybe he/she can figure out why he closes up during the one on one time with the teacher.

hi brandi, i am a mom of a little boy in pre-school as well.  all i can say though is that pre- school might not be for everyone. if your son already knows all the things he needs to know for kindergarden; are you putting him there for the social interaction, and to get him to the "class setting"?  my mom put me in kindergarden when i saw 4, and i have always felt that was too early for me. does he need to be there so you can work? i dont see anything wrong with a child to get all the "at home time with mom" they can get. he might not be "personally" ready for it either. no offense. just speaking on my own exsperience. my son "personally" is ready, because it has done him a world of good, and he loves everything about it.every child is different.

Thanks Teresa,

He is doing much better now. I think he just needed to get adjusted. I have him in pre-school for the socialization. He is very attached to me and to his sister which is fine but I want the transition to kindergarden to be smooth and not frightening. I am also in school 2 days a week so him being there helps with the scheduling. He is doing awesome now though, has made lots of new firends and enjoys being in class. His teachers are amazing. He now gets disapointed on the weekends when their is no school. He won't go to kindergarden until he turns 5 I wouldn't want to put him in to early but the pre school seems to be doing well for him. I do apretiate the advise.