hello all i am a 28 y/o stay at home mom of 3 girls ages 5, 3, and 2. my problem isnt with my children at all i am so greatful for being able to stay home with them and spend all my time with them. It is my fiance and money. He makes pretty good money and he also has 3 other children from previous relationships that he pays support to. i dont know whats going on since we moved, we are so behind on all the bills, and we only payed half the rent to the landlord. Im seriously thinking about moving in with my parents, all he ever thinks about is material possesions, we are so broke yet he has the nerve to go get an $8000 loan for a motorcycle! Im trying that whole pros and cons list and im coming up with more cons than pros, I do love him very much but i really cant live like this, im sick of the kids hearing the wrath of daddy cause hes mad about money. the girls dont need to worry about stuff like this but my 5 year old is catching on quickly. im getting so angry with him and im even catching myself getting mad at the kids and its got to stop. my kids are my world, and i dont want them growing up like they have to worry where the next gallon of milk is coming from. im just torn because we have split up before, and it was horrible on the kids, but is it worth it to stay really?

The decision to split or not is probably going to be one of the toughest decisions you ever make, but it will have such an impact on your kids. My husband (common-law, but for 18 years) and I recently split. I thought about it for over two years before making the final decision, because we have a young son and I really worried about the effect on him. I think the best "advice" I ever got was from a counselour who said "happy moms have happy kids". It really made me think about how my frustration and resentment in the relationship was teaching my son that relationships are bad. It was tough, but now both my ex and me are happier, we relate to one another much better since we don't live together, and we both agreed to put the resentment aside and do at least one family activity a week together so our son sees that it's okay for parents to live apart but still be a family. He asks sometimes if we'll ever live together again, and when i say it won't happen he cries. But then we talk about it for a bit, he starts to feel better, and he gets lots of reassurance that even though his dad and I are apart we still love each other and love him. So far, so good, and it's been about two months.

Only you can make the final call on your relationship, but if you're getting nothing but stress, worry and unhappiness, is it really worth staying around for more? I bet once you step out of the situation you'll see things a little more clearly and wonder why you put up with it as long as you did.

I agree with Debra is it really worth all the stress and frustation. The balls in your court all u got to do is shoot let him worry where his milk will come from when he has no money. He will hopefully see reality. 

I always hate to see relationships end, however, if you plan on marrying him (you referred to him as your fiance) then you do need to think about what will be best for your familyand if your homelife is going to be healthy for your children.  There's a good balance that we want our kids to see.  Material possessions are not what bring happiness, it's the joy we have within ourselves and with each other.  Whereas $ isn't the answer it is needed.  No one wants to spend their life struggling and having to see if the budget allows us to eat at Taco Bell or take our kids swimming.  If he is making good money and yet not providing for his family, he will not make a good father and husband nor is he inflluencing your children in a positive way.  On the other hand have you communicated all of this with him?  Make sure he understands the issues and maybe he'll make the decision for you.  Best to you.