I have a 3 year old son who is non-verbal and a 4 month old daughter. I am having such a hard time juggling both because my new baby girl is a huge handful. My son who is autistic is going to preschool and he is a very well behaved kid. He has always been easy going. Now my daughter, she is the one who is a handful. I feel like I can't possibly clean the house, take care of her, and take care of my son all at the same time. My son is not potty trained and is in a special needs preschool. I can tell he is missing out on the much needed attention he needs, but he just doesn't ever ask for it. My daughter is non-stop wanting attention and my son is the opposite. He pushes us away when we pay too much attention to him. He is very independent and likes doing things on his own. ANyone have experience with this? Any suggestions?

Yes, yes Daisy!  You are not alone.  Things were very hard for me when my 2nd son was born, but we did eventually work into a groove.  My boys are now 3 1/2 and 1 1/2.  My older son is ASD and is not potty trained either, but he is verbal now.

My suggestion is to set some priorities and stick to them.  Decide what you need to do and what you want to do most.  If you don't mind laundry all over the house and toys scattered about then leave that stuff.  That is not important.

Try to find things your daughter will do alone.  Try to get her a little more independent so you can spend some qualitiy time with your son.  If she likes a bouncy seat, or a Baby Einstein video that may give you some time to spend with your son.

But if he does pull away, it is ok.  My son likes to get lost in his own world a lot too and that is fine!  As long as he is happy and you do get to have some time for quality/therapy time he will be fine.  Once things settle down and you get a good groove and routine going you will be able to do more for him.  But don't stress about it.  Just let him do his thing while you figure stuff out, he will be ok.  Especially since he gets school too.

So set those priorities and STICK TO THEM!  Decide what needs to get done, and what you want to do most.  I hope that helps!  Remember, you are not alone!

Jean

www.MommyToTwoBoys.blogspot.com

My 3 1/2 year old and my almost 2 year old are the same way. At this age, I actually get them to play together, sometimes without me. I agree with Jean that you need to pick and stick! Pick what is important and stick to a schedule. Maybe get a routine that when your daughter takes a nap you play with your son. Maybe at a meal you can get them interacting? It is normal to feel that you are not paying enough attention to one or both of your children. Just keep at it, soon your daughter will be old enough to spend some time without you.