1. hi, i am teresa, and i have a special needs three year old son.  he has put us through alot/(and still does). i think we should have another one, (my son needs a sibling to go through life with;)but i am soooooooooooooooooooo aprehensive about going through the "hell" all over again. i would love this child just as much as my first. i just cant get over the thought of all the bad/hard stuff. has anyone ever felt as i do? what did you do to get over this?

Hi Teresa,

I to have one child and have a child with needs.  She receives spec ed and speech.  It took 3 years to have her, and a very difficult pregnancy.  Then she has had services for about a year now.  Very difficult and sometimes hell, I would not trade her and I love her to death.  But, I personally can not go though it again.  The pregnancy and dealing with a child that can not communicate has been hard.  So for me I just don't think I can do it all over again. I still remember everything. I am content with her and my decision.  What ever way you decide, make sure that you are content with it. Take care and good luck:)

Hi Theresa,

I do not have a special needs child however my son is strong willed. I spend the first 3.5 yrs as a stay at home mom with my first son and gave him all my attention. I loved the precious time we spent together. He is now 6. I had the second because I thought my son needed a buddy to go through life with but all they do is fight and I constantly have to watch, seperate or when I am just to tired just ignore them. The 6 year old is incredibly jealous of his brother and no matter how much attention you give him, he wants it all. He tells me all the time he doesn't want a brother The thing that most surprised me is that having 2 children, even without special needs is much MORE than double the work!!!! I love both of my kids to death and would never trade either one of them but I think if I would have know how much work it is - my magic number would have been one! The first was so easy to teach but when I try to teach the younger one, the older one laughs at him which encourages him to continue doing it and tries to get him to always do the wrong thing so he will get in trouble. The second is very outgoing and just a joy and people are so attracted to him which just makes the older one hate him more. I hope it gets easier. I am sure not ever one has this experience but if you feel like your hands are full now, consider it very carefully.

i know how you feel!  I am pregnant with the second one but we seriously had to think about it b/c my son had health issues and and we are still facing one thing after another with  him and i am vey apprehensive about this second one and hopefully things are going to work out for the best.  i don't think there is a right decision or a wrong decision, just a difficult one.  my aunt had similar problems to the ones that i faced and she decided to only have one and my cousin has the same problems and she has two kids and they are extremely different.  i think people just have to do the best they can in life.  best of luck to you and if it makes you feel better, i do know how you feel and sometmes, motherhood is tough as h>>>>

Hi Teresa,

 I know how you feel I have a a 8 year old  with autism and when I was pregnant with my second child I was so scared my second child was born 7 weeks early and had to be in the hospital 31/2 weeks but he is ok he has a slight peech problem that is improving with speech classes . I also now have a third child who has no issues and is perfectly healthy. they are all so blessed and presious and dispite all the hardship that we have enduredit is all worth it to see them playing together and them crawing in to our bed in the morning to wake us up makes everything worth it. All the good stuff out weighs the hard and bad stuff everyday I am so glad that we decied to have our other two sons despite and fears we may have had. I couldn't see my life with out them hardships and all. It is those hardships that make everyday alittle more special when you look back on everything. No fears No worries life always works out the way it is suppose to. I do not want to sound preachy but God give us only what we can handle and only the strong get the special gifts to watch over. And your son is a special gift and god knows you are strong!  

Hi Teresa,

 I know how you feel I have a a 8 year old  with autism and when I was pregnant with my second child I was so scared my second child was born 7 weeks early and had to be in the hospital 31/2 weeks but he is ok he has a slight peech problem that is improving with speech classes . I also now have a third child who has no issues and is perfectly healthy. they are all so blessed and presious and dispite all the hardship that we have enduredit is all worth it to see them playing together and them crawing in to our bed in the morning to wake us up makes everything worth it. All the good stuff out weighs the hard and bad stuff everyday I am so glad that we decied to have our other two sons despite and fears we may have had. I couldn't see my life with out them hardships and all. It is those hardships that make everyday alittle more special when you look back on everything. No fears No worries life always works out the way it is suppose to. I do not want to sound preachy but God give us only what we can handle and only the strong get the special gifts to watch over. And your son is a special gift and god knows you are strong!