Hey guy's, are you all having as much fun as I am?

It's strange, I change the dipers I do the doctors trips, food, teaching, clean house, cook meals, laundry, house painting, carpentry, lawn mowing, and plumbing, yet it seems mothers still don't want to convers with a man. My son needs a play mate, I'm not looking for a date.  forget the man thing, I am first and foremost a human, then I am a parent and husband.  I have a smart kind kid who has always known how to share, why does my gender matter at all? My wife says I do a great Job.

Ron

Ron:

Nice to know I'm not alone with this experience...

My three boys are all very social, and absolutely love to play with other children.  But, try to strike up a conversation with a mother on the playground to establish a friendship for the kids, and she's ready to reach for her mace... 

I've been at home with my boys for almost 5 years now.  There's a few things I've noticed when you're a dad out in public alone with your small children. 

First:  Everyone you run into assumes that this is the first time you've ever cared for your children and you have absolutely no idea what you're doing.  Lord help you if one of your kids starts to cry.  You'll get all sorts of unsolicited advice.

Our boys are very rough-and-tumble and love to run and climb.  We don't make a big deal out of taking a fall on the playground - Our guys just get up again and keep going.  We have delibrately muted our response to falls so that the boys don't make a big deal of it either.  I must also add that none of them has ever been hurt.  But, you should see the reaction from mothers on the playground when there's a tumble and I don't run screaming to my child. 

I've always wanted my boys to have long-term playmates to grow up with, but it's been rough trying to help this happen.  Most every family in our neighborhood has both parents working, or their kids are much older.  If you try to start a conversation with someone on the playground - well, I've mentioned that...  I don't know if society has changed so much since I was a kid, maybe these types of friendships don't occur anymore... 

Recently, I have had some success with the boys in a playgroup.  It was the only at home parents group on meetup.com in our area, that wasn't specifically a "moms" group.  Everyone there has been real nice, but it still makes me feel like a fish out of water sometimes... 

I'd love to find other SAHD's around here, but they are very elusive as well... 

I'm still hoping they'll make some long-term friends, but in the meantime, I'm just going to keep trying and work as many fun memories into their childhood as I can. 

Carl

Thanks Carl!

It's good to know I’m not alone out there, and that someone is willing to talk about more then just the weather.

I think in some ways it is harder to have long term friends today; because of the economic forces causing people to move around more than previous generations, and the raised level of social fear, and then again maybe its easier because of technology.

When I was a kid the teachers could put there hand on your shoulder to say good job! Now, nothing.  Teachers can’t touch students, parents can’t touch the kids because there always at work, co workers can’t touch because it could be misconstrued, and mom and dad don't have time to touch.  No wonder the world is at war.

Making the world so antiseptic has not improved things by eliminating bad touch but rather it has successfully eliminated good touch.

Then there is the issue of the death of honor, loyalty, faith, and trust.

I believe humanities move from tribalism to the nuclear family left us all vulnerable, to loneliness, division, and social weakness (easily controlled).

Just as I can’t blame a cancer patient for their cancer, neither can I blame the sisters for having there brainwashed perspective of what a man is or should be, I think we as men helped form that perspective. Now having said that, it still hurts my feelings to be treated like a disease, like I am nothing but the sum of my lower parts.

There are also a lot of creeps out there, male and female, so it's hard to know when it's actually safe to open up.  People are just protecting there families, and it still doesn't help my 17 month old tuff guy find a playmate.

The other thing is, it seems as though most of the parents on the sights are more worried about making there own connections, and maybe I should be to, but I am just looking for my son.

I am hoping to put together a drum circle / play group, so rather than the parents going bla bla bla, they could seize the moment and actively participate, in the opportunity to connect with their children, while having fun teaching and communicating through rhythm, and helping strengthen the children’s mathematical abilities inadvertently. 

I have been a percussionist all of my life, and have witnessed clear communication through the use of drums, between old, young, and every color, nationality, background, and even with the autistic.  I have two congas, a large children’s gathering drum, an 18" djembe, shakers tambourines, African clave's and whole bunch more. Wouldn’t that be cool?

Ron