Hi im jennifer. im 19 and a single mom of a 5 month old boy. it is hard taking care of aydan(my son). but i have a lot of help. i live at home with my mom. so she helps a lot. i dont know what i would do with out her. i have no time to do anything for myself. im always running to get a diaper or a bottle or a toy. i feel like i cant/dont have a minute for myself. and if i want to cry, i can forget about it. it will just upset aydan more. im SUPER stressed right now. and im only 19. life shouldnt be this hard right now. this wasnt my choice. i was raped. and he gets to live his life wherever and whenever but im stuck at home all day. its getting harder to deal with.

Hi Jennifer,

Sorry to hear about your struggles.  You are indeed lucky to have such a supportive mom!

Being home all day doesn't help anyone.  Do some research and find programs in your city/town for teen moms.  From what I understand they are very helpful.  Some even work out schedules where moms take turns watching each other's children while moms continue their education, work, or just need a break. 
Get involved in local teen moms groups, they will help you a lot.

Good Luck!

I just wanted to pipe in and say I totally sympathize and hope things get better.  I too was ripped out of my youth prematurely when I was raped and impregnated by someone I had THOUGHT was my friend shortly after I graduated from college.  Remember, the best revenge is a life well lived.  In my case, I ended up meeting a wonderful man through my work (selling vacuums of all things!!!) several years later, marrying him, and having 3 more beautiful, wonderful kids with him.  Meanwhile, the asshole that raped me can't manage to have any sort of decent relationship and is jealous as hell of my life!  I tell you this in the hopes that you will get out of the house, either through working (at least part time--this is what I currently do to get some "me time"!) or, like Connie said, some sort of social activities or programs, or maybe a church (if you don't consider yourself religious, Unitarian Universalist churches are "non-creedal", meaning you don't have to believe anything in particular to join).  And you may be able to qualify for TONS of student assistance being in your situation so you don't need to give up on your dream of going back to school either!  Maybe as a jump start to that, you could study on your own for a while, just a little at a time, until Aydan is big enough you feel more comfortable enrolling in school.  Or maybe you could go to school on-line and do your coursework after he goes down for the night.

I feel like I'm rambling, but my point is that there IS hope, even if it doesn't seem like it right now.  Take it from someone that has been in a somewhat similar position.  I know it may not look similar, since I did manage to wait (*scoff*) until I was graduated from college to be impregnated by a rapist, but in my case, I HAD to go to grad school for what I was studying so having a baby cut off my educational career completely, so it is more similar than it may look at first glance.  Anyway, you are young, Aydan is very young.  Things will get easier and life WILL get better!  Don't ever give up on your hopes of that, since some days, that may be all you have to hold onto.  ((((((((hugs)))))))))

Oh, I forgot to mention to let yourself have a good cry when Aydan is asleep if you need to.  It can be very helpful!  I know when I feel I can't go on, a lot of times I'll let myself cry it out, take a little rest, and then I'm ready to keep on fighting!  Sometimes new solutions to my problems will come to me just after a good cry.

thanks connie for all of your wonderful advice. and its so encouraging to hear that im not alone Indigo. Thank you for sharing with me your story. it made me feel a lot better to know that that you came from quite a similiar situation and felt a lot of the same things that i am feeling. It nice to know that there are other mothers out there that know what your going through and dont judge you for what you say. i feel like my family does that sometimes. but i know how much they love me and they want the best for me. my mom has been my rock through everything. she is the srongest woman i know. i do cry every now and then. it just comes and i have to let it out. then i feel a lot better. and i do plan on going back to school. i cant wait. im nervous but REALLY excited. thanks again for sharing with me and talking with me. i appreciate everyones kindness.