Hi everyone, I’m a working mom with a 3 month old and I just started back to work full-time.  My son is a fantastic little boy and I have such a great time with him.  Since I’ve been back at work, I don’t have much time with him.  I literally pick him up from the Nanny’s house, commute 45 minutes to an hour back to our house (he sleeps most of the car ride), get home, give him a bath, feed him, and then he falls asleep for the night.  I feel like our play-time is gone and he’s not going to understand that I’m still Mommy (not just somoene that gets him ready for bed).  He spends most of his time with the Nanny, and I am afraid that he’s going to be more attached to her since she spends the entire day with him.  Someone please tell me if I’m overreacting, or if others have felt this fear too? 

Melissa,  I feel the same way!!! I joined this group, because I am struggling as a working Mom.  I know there are tons of other working Moms out there, but honestly I donl't know how they do it!!!  My Mom watches my kids (I have a 2 year old and a 3 month old), and I constantly worry that they will end up more attached to Grandma then me.  I am in the same situation as you.  I work full time with an hour commute each way.  I pick up my kids, feed/bathe them and put them to bed.  I feel so sad that I am only with them for appox 3 hours a day!!!  I feel like my Mom is the one raising them.  Eventhough I have these worries, I can tell you that my 2 year old is super attached to me.  My Mom tells me that she talks and asks about me all day, so I know she still loves me :)  I guess we have to remember that it is "quality not quantity" when it comes to the time we spend with our kids.  When we are home as long as we give them undivided attention (even if it is only for a couple of hours a day), we are doing our jobs.  There are plenty of stay at home Moms that are with their kids all day that don't give their kids that "quality" time, you know?

Anyway, I hope we can all support eachother through this.  I never anticipated being a working Mom would be so hard!!!

Hi Stephanie and Melissa,

It is very hard to be away from your children.  I know because I raised my daughter as a single Mom.  Have you considered working from home?

Phyllis

Hi Stephanie--It's good to know I'm not the only one that feels this way!  Hopefully we'll figure out a way to not feel so guilty.  lol

Hi Phyllis--yes, I did consider working from home.  I could not find anything that was legitimate and that could pay me even close to what we need in order to pay bills. 

Hi Melissa,

Definitely know how you feel. I also work full time and struggle to have enough time with my 21 month old little girl. One thing I can reassure you is that as long as you make the effort and put in the quality time with your little one they will know who their mommy is! And now weekends will be that much more important in spending that time you do have doing the fun things that you both love to do. It definitely makes that time you do have that much more valuable. I believe it has gotten a little easier for me as my little girl gets older because now she is able to say hello to me when I pick her up and I can see how much she has missed me by how happy she is to see me. Looking back when she was only 3 months old I can tell you I was not able to see that as much. So I think as they get older you are able to get more reassurance from them letting you know that you are a good mom who is really loved. Good Luck! And never forget that you are a good mom who is trying to do her best :)

I feel the same way you all do!  It helps me to think this way - We are the parents so we still make the decisions for our childrens well beings.  We chose the people who care for our children.  I went through several day care providers before settling on the one I have.  I want my daughter to love her because she is a big influence on her.  I tell my daughter all the time how much I appreciate the day care person because she does such a good job taking care of her FOR me and her daddy.  We are the ones who will be with our children throughout their lives.  The nanny will only be in her life for the next few years. 

Keep a positive outlook.

Hi Melissa,

Please contact me at teen@sbcglobal.net and we will discuss the work at home options.  It can be done and I have done a lot of research on this topic.

Phyllis