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| Parents of Teens |
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| I have a 14 year old daughter. I have caught her 3 times now sneaking out of the house. The first time I believe was just for her a friend to walk at 11:30 at night!! The second and third time was also with a friend and this time I believe she was meeting a boy. She will be going into High School in the fall. What to do?? I have taken all privilidges away. |
| Posted by Julie on 07/23/2007 01:48 PM
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Sounds like a tough situation for a parent to go through, but certainly not insurmountable.
Are the other parents aware of what's going on?
Do you have a curfew in your area?
Would you be willing to speak to an officer and have them 'pick her up'?
Who are her friends?
Sometimes a good 'professional scare' helps, getting picked up, taken to a morgue or being drug tested ect.....
Is she involved in any sports? Coaches won't allow that behavior and still be on a team.
What is her daily routine?
Does she have responsibilities that help her grow in maturity?
Does she volunteer anywhere?
Does she have something that she can be proud of?
I had a friends whose daughter was going boy crazy and her parents took the tough love approach. They took away the media, computer, radio magazines that were influencing her. Then filled her time with things that developed a better character for several months, she now has a clear head and is more independent and not so desperate for her 'peers' attention because she has things of her own that she is proud of and many new friends that she met through different interests. |
| posted by Tina on 07/23/2007 02:36 PM
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| I have always believed in keeping them VERY busy...Sports or dance or community service after school. |
| posted by tara on 07/23/2007 02:46 PM
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She's really testing her limits, isn't she? And so young?
I've always been accused of beig either to lax with my kids or way to strict, so keep that in mind as I say that I would probably take the tough love approach too. Scare tactics aren't a bad idea either.
In the meantime, see if there is some other arrangement that you can make for her to spend time with her friends - perhaps have them over to your house and don't hover over everything they do? Just an idea. Then she can't claim you are trying to keep her from her friends.
Keep us updated on this as time goes by. |
| posted by Kelly on 07/23/2007 03:28 PM
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Tina, I liked your advice about removing all computer, media etc, and more volunteer. I agree, the child has too much free time-and that is where the problems arise. Who I am referring to is ME! and our son situation. You brought up some interesting points.
I have the door and window alarms on each night. They are so small, your child will not even notice, unless you tell them.
Being a single parent is tough alone, having a teenager testing the waters is even greater. I would consider talking with the police and alerting them of the situation. If she decided to "sneak out" again, and if she were picked up by the police, you could have her stay in jail overnight.When she makes her first phone call, do not pick it up. I think she will get the message very loud and clear.
My parents did this to one of my older brothers. He snuck out of the house to go to this party, after everyone was in bed. We are talking 1970 here. There was a "raid" and my brother landed in jail. He called my parents, my dad said he was not coming. My brother stayed in jail for 3 days straight. That cured him.
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| posted by esther on 07/24/2007 11:51 AM
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| WELL THIS IS A VERY DIFFICULT SITUATION. I AM A SINGLE PARENT, I HAVE NEVER HAD THIS PROBLEM THANK GOD. WHAT I CAN SAY IS THAT I HOPE YOU HAVE GOOD COMMUNICATION WITH HER. LOVE HER BE THERE FOR HER. MY DAUGHTER HAS TOLD ME THAT HER FRIENDS SNEAK OUT BUT ONE OF HER FRIENDS DOSENT HAVE PARENTS THE MOTHER PAST AWAY SO SHE USUALLY SPENDS THE NIGHT HER WITH MY DAUGHTER. BUT ITHINK MY DAUGHTER KNOWS BETTER. BELIEVE ME AND I HAVE NO ANGEL LET ME TELL YOU. ITS BE VERY HARD THESE YEARS SHE IS ALREADY 16. SHE WORKING AND IN SCHOOL. I HAVE BEEN THROUGH ALOT. ONE THING I DID LEARN IS TO LISTEN TO HER. AND NOT TO YELL OR PANIC, TALK TO HER BE THERE FOR HER. BE STRONG. IT IS REALLY SCARY ESPECIALLY HIGH SCHOOL. YOU DONT REALIZE IN REALITY THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN THEY AS KIDS HAVE TO LEARN AND MAKE THE RIGHT DISICIONS FOR THERE OWN GOOD. I TELL MY DAUGHTER THAT LIFE IS VERY HARD THAT I WANT THE BEST FOR HER. I LET HER OUT SOMETIMES BUT TILL A CERTAIN TIME. TRUST HER SHELL OPEN UP TO YOU WITH TIME. |
| posted by Elizabeth on 08/12/2007 08:00 PM
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Julie,
How are things going for you? |
| posted by Tina on 08/16/2007 07:43 AM
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