Hi,

  I have a beautiful (almost) 1 month daughter.  I love being with her all day, but getting used to the routine has been rough.  I also can't believe that no one warns you of how hard and crazy the first few weeks are.  I know everyone said sleep, but they never prepared me for all the anxiety and worry about every little thing.  And the hormones!  They are getting much better, but the "weepy" moments drive me crazy.  Now that I'm home all day I'm looking for other moms to talk too.  It would be nice to hear what other moms have expreienced to know I am not alone in the craziness of motherhood. :)

Hi Dana! My daughter turned a year old a few weeks ago, and I remember very vividly those first weeks home with her. First of all, I walked around in a zombie state all that time since she was on her own schedule of sleeping all day and up ALL night. If that's your situation, let me assure you that it won't stay that way. The thing about newborns is that THEY make their schedules and you have NO say in the matter. However, by a couple of months of age she actually started sleeping at night--WOW! While we know every baby is different, you may want to try putting her in her crib, bassinet, ect. . . at night (maybe even with one of your shirts or something with your scent on it) and maybe you both can get some sleep at night. And believe me. . . YOU ARE FAR FROM BEING ALONE IN THE CRAZINESS OF NEW MOTHERHOOD!! Good luck!:-)

Yes - those first few months can be rough!  But, I promise it gets better!  As you get to know your baby and get used to being a Mom you'll relax a bit.  And thankfully your hormones will get back in check, though that can take awhile.  Good luck and congratulations on being a new Mom!

I know what you're saying. I never imagined how difficult it was going to be. I heard it was tough but I guess it's one of those things you have to experience to really "get it". My little girl is almost 17 months old and I think she is the coolest thing on the planet. I had a really hard time in the beginning. I swear I cried every day eventually I had to be put on Prozac but hopefully it won't be like that for you. Just try to relax with it a little if you can and try to get some sleep when you can (it will help with the weepiness). It's a whirlwind but it's so worth it. You'll be crying when you sing her Happy Birthday next year wondering where the year went.

My daughter is fast approaching her 1 yr birthday (ok she's almost 10 months) and the year has gone so fast.

The sleep depravation, the axiety and worry are all very normal and shall pass. I had horrible baby blues until my daughter was almost 3 months old. Actually I got better when I finially admitted that I had a problem and found out I wasn't the worst mother in the world, that other normal mothers felt the same way I did. No normal mother would tell you that your alone in this, although some have it easier and some have it harder, we all had our own trials and tribulations.

Treasure every moment and break out the camcorder at every stage so you can go back and reflect on how small and helpless they are at this age, how mobile and curious at my daughters age and hopefully independant next year.

If anyone told you how hard it could be for a few moments you may not have had your daughter and enjoyed all the years of joy that erase those few hard moments from your mind.

I don't know where your located, but find a mommy and me friend, or you can call me. You can disscuss your problem at that time and get their advice. Our babies don't come with manuals, only experience (and if were smart other's experience) will teach you the way.

The best advise I was given and can give at 1 month was watch and learn from others. I watched and repeated everything my mom did that worked. Don't think you are the only one with the problem, someone else had it and may have a solution for you. My mom's co-worker finially (after waiting in agony far to long) complained about her son hating bath time, my mom had a couple different things for her to try and they worked. You can't think of every solution, so talk to others and get their opinion and what worked for them.

My son is also fast approaching his first birthday and I remember those first 5 or 6 months being excruciating. Your right, not just the sleeping - it's the worrying, the checking them every 5 minutes to make sure they're breathing, the periodic breathing (!), the red-faced gas thing (!), the days would go by and most times I wouldn't even shower. No one comes to help - you would think other mothers in your family would come over and help out just having lived through it, but alas no one shows up.

Sometimes you just can't know something until you know it. That's my motto for motherhood.  I find the whole motherhood experience in general equally rewarding and frustrating. Even after 11 months I'm still fighting the constant battle with burnout and still mourning the loss of both my freedom and my sunday morning coffee and newspaper in bed routine.  

I am a permanent stay-at-home-mom and there are days I wish to god I could go back to work just to escape for a few hours. There are days when I just feel like I have nothing else to give. Those are the days I fake it - the big bright smile, the singing, the happiness I have to muster at 5:30am because I don't want my son to think waking up is a bad thing.

There are definite pros and cons to staying at home permanently. My best advice is to keep an open mind, try it out, and don't feel guilty if you don't want to do it. If you can, take a leave of absence at your job for a few months and try it out before you quit.

One thing I do know for sure, the first year is the hardest. Having the responsibility of this little life depending on you 24/7 for EVERYTHING is a heavy weight to carry some days and you are not alone. Don't think for a second you are the only one out there looking at your child at 3am and silently screaming, MY GOD WHY WON'T SOMEONE LET ME SLEEP?!?

Hang in there Dana. It's has to get easier!!

Wow! Dana, everyone on this blog is so right. Nobody can ever explain how hard and how absolutely wonderful it is to become a mother. Congratulations! And know this, you are doing a great job! You are, don't doubt it. My daughter is turning 1 this November 20th and I have no idea where the year went. After the first 2-3 months, it will go by so fast, you'll see. I clearly remember how increadibly difficult it was for me in the beginning. I had an awefull birth experience, which ended in C-Section, so I could not (no matter how hard I tried or how guilty I felt) even enjoy my baby girl in the very beginning. Besides recovering from C-Section, I had a high fever in the first week, which turned out to be minor yeast infection. So I had to take tylenol, motrin and antibiotics WHILE breastfeeding, dreading every moment that I will harm my baby (even though was told it was safe to take those drugs). You and other moms on this post are correct. It isn't just sleeplessness. I could not and still have trouble sleeping even when my girl is peacefully asleep. I just had to admit that this is one of those hard and at the same time beautiful things about being a mother. It WILL get easier, I promise. My friend (also a mommy) used to say that to me in the beginning and it seamed unreal, but it turned out to be true.

I had to return to work when my baby turned 6 months and it was and is very hard. On one hand, you do need a distraction, but on the other hand, time passes by so much faster when you are away from your baby the whole day, every day, 5 days a week. So if you are thinking of being stay-at-home mom, go ahead. Maybe in the future, if you feel like it and can, you can find a part-time job just for short distractions and extra money.

Hang in there and please enjoy every moment. I cried so frequently in the beginning as well. This too shall pass, just like all the other hard and, unfortunately, good things in raising an infant.

   Thanks everyone!  Your advice and kind words are just what I need to read sometimes when I'm having a bad! :)

   It is great to hear from everyone else that it is "normal" to feel completely overwhelmed yet elated with motherhood.  I'm lucky too my daughter is a pretty good sleeper and pretty easy going for the most part.  I feel most of my "problems" are with me.  I get lonely being home, my husband has long hours right now and my family lives a little bit of a distance. I moved oer 2 years ago but still dont know anyone in the area.  I was so caught up in working and getting pregnant (I have PCOS) that I never really met anyone here.

  I'm also always second guessing myself, but even that has improved since the beginning.  I no longer call the peditrician at least once a day! :)  I can't believe how fast she is growing.  The month has been the longest and shortest month at the same time. 

   It is getting easier as time goes on.  It is nice to have this website to come to and talk with other real moms who have been through it or are going through it and know how you feel.  I can't always use the phone, but checking e-mail and reading all the replies when I get a chance is great.

Anastasia- I had a C-Section too and its amazing to me how much better I feel already.  The day of and the following week was so horrible I thought it would be months before I could do anything.  And it did make it hard to connect with her right after the surgery.  Unfortunately breastfeeding didn't work out for me because I could not supply her with enough... That's a whole other story that made the first weeks so hard.

  Well thanks again!  I know where to come for good advice and a pick me up on a bad day. :)

Well, Dana. Just want to say you ARE doing great! Better than many. After C-Section doing this all by yourself with your husband working long hours and your family far away and being new to the neighborhood. You are a hero! My mother lives a very short bus or subway ride away from me and the first 2 weeks she literally lived with us. Helping with all the shopping, cooking, baby, etc. and plus my husband's work schedule is more flexible than normal and some days he would leave late or come home early. My mom continued to help through the first 4 months a lot and then a couple of times a week until I went to work (when baby turned 6 months). Now she watches the baby twice a week (and we take her to my husband's mom the other 3 times). So I am very lucky this way! What I am trying to say is that you are amazing for doing this on your own. I wish I lived in your area to get to know you in person, but I don't. I live in Brooklyn, New York. And I don't really have any mommy friends near by either. Good luck again.

Maybe I missed it, but where are you located. Maybe somoene one here lives close. I'm in St. Charles, MO.

Becki. I am not sure if you are addressing me or Dana. I am in Brooklyn, New York, and I think Dana is in Chesterton, IN. However I do see several groups for your locations on this site, but nothing for mine. I guess there are so many people in New York and they are so busy that nobody really needs to start a group on line :-) I wish there was one, though.

I'm sure there is a group. Try meetup.com, they have lots of groups based on location. I can't imagine there isn't a mommy and me group in your area.