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| Raising Boys |
| Public online group |
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MOM - JOB DESCRIPTION
This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, no one would
have
done it!!!!
POSITION :
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable
hours, which Will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour
shifts on call. Some
overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on
rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel
expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least
temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue
repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and
be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this
time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small
gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must
screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of
multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize
social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be
willing to be
indispensable one minute, and embarrassed the next. Must handle assembly
and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and
battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared
for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the
quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor
maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so
that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a
continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A
balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that
college
will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give
them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme
is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this
job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs
for life.
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| Posted by Rosalie on 07/19/2007 05:26 PM
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| hahaha very cute and funny. also very true. lol |
| posted by katie on 07/19/2007 05:32 PM
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| to funny!! and also so true :O) |
| posted by TAMARA on 07/19/2007 05:35 PM
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with those benefits who would not sign up for life.
too cute
laura |
| posted by laura on 07/19/2007 09:58 PM
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