A 9-month old does not know how to manipulate yet. Therefore, if he cries, it is for a reason. If you just let him cry to teach him a lesson or punish or discipline him for simply crying, he'll just develop insecurities. If he is behaving badly, at this age the best thing to do is to redirect or distract him (as you have been doing). After 1 year old, you "could" try timeouts but only for a minute the longest but it might not be the most effect thing to do. (timeouts should only be 1 minute per year of age.) Even telling a baby no-no might not be the best route. Tell or show him the best thing to do by doing it in the positive. Instead of saying "don't hit"...try saying "soft hands" or "gentle touch". Or if he's playing with something he shouldn't, redirect or distract him or remove the object from his reach. And the best discipline for him at this age and older is consistency. If it's a no-no one time, it should be for all times and situations. Hope this helps. 

I agree with Cynthia but also I would encourage you to go to Babycenter.com or another parenting website to print out an article for your husband to read.  I have found that sometimes with my husband when we have a disagreement it sometimes helps if he sees that I'm not just pulling stuff out of the air or being softy mom, but that I actually am coming from a place of knowledge.  This approach is also helpful because it can give you more suggestions for how to deal with these situations with your child.

Good luck!  This is just the beginning!

You are doing the right thing. Don't change it to satisfy you husband. Tell you husband that the only thing you are teaching your son by ignoring his cries is that he can't trust you to be there when he needs you. We have an almost 3-year-old daughter and we ALWAYS went to her when she cried and she ALWAYS had a need that wasn't being met. That is the only way for them to communicate. We used "not for you" when she went to touch something that she shouldn't. It worked great and she wasn't hearing the word "no" all of the time. You are doing great by re-directing him to something else as well. Time-outs are good to when he gets older, just make sure you tell him what the time-out is for and give lots of hugs and kisses after time-out is over. The general rule is: 1 minute for each year of age. So 1 minute for 1 year old, 2 minutes for 2 year old, etc... I agree with Cindy, get something in writing to show your husband. You know how husbands don't like to hear our criticisms. Good luck and this is JUST the beginning. 

I'm with everyone here. I don't belive that youcan spoil an infant. I'm against letting babies cry it out- but I don't feel it necessary to run at every whimper either. Just find what you are comfortable with and stick with it. Sometimes it is difficult for people from different backgrounds & families to agree on methods of discipline. My husband and I are pretty even, but as I was growing up my mother handled it all because my father tended to be a little hard and she was home more.

Does anyone know of a good article to print out? He and I went online together and tried to find articles, but all we could find were blogs and peoples personal opinions, which lined up with mine, but isnt substantial enough to convince him...

Go to parenting.com and type in "crying" in the search button, then press go. A good article comes up on "Guide to Soothing a Crying baby". This is a great resource site. Let me know how it turns out. Good Luck!

For discipline ideas- there are many good articles online. I simply went to Google and searched for "appropriate discipline for infants". You just have to seach through what you find useful. I don't agree with it all, but I do have a better picture after reading some of the articles.

http://www.drkutner.com/parenting/articles/discipline_infants.html

http://life.familyeducation.com/baby/discipline/44249.html?detoured=1

http://www.pediatriccareonline.org/pco/ub/view/Bright-Futures/135128/0/9_Month_Visit

http://humsci.auburn.edu/~abellel/beeprogram/links/resourceupdates/infants/guidedis/guidedis.htm

http://betterkidcare.psu.edu/TIPS/TIPS511.pdf

All of these websites were really helpful... thank you all SO much

Ok, I gotta say something.  I agree on the discipline ideas, but not on the crying. I see that the option sign language has been left out.  9 month olds are very smart and if they can pick up cheerios then they can sign.  All you have to do is teach them simple things like eat, drink, please, thank you, etc...  I did it with my kids and if you do it right by saying the word and signing, your child will talk and not just sign.  Both my kids did fine and are not great talkers.  It also saved me a lot of hassle during the terrible 2's and 3's.  

I agree, Elizabeth. I did sigh language with my daughter, who is now 2 & 8 mths. She understood it and was able to communicate with me. I think it helped her talk sooner too. Her talking skills are that of a 4 year old now.

My oldest daughter didn't catch on with the signing till she was 12 mos., although we took a class and started doing the signing at 8 mos.  But we also were amazed at how much it helped, especially with my middle child who had speech & hearing issues.

The signing hasnt been left out of this house. We have been watching signing videos with him since he was literally 3 months old. He 9 months and signs eat, milk, all done, dog, mommy and the basics like that. I have decided that alot of the fussiness has to do with his teething. My son is normally the happiest baby... he just laughs and smiles all the tiime, but he recently had his first two teeth pop through and is now fussy all the time and wont sleep at night...

So yes the signing helps him communicate but he is not quite able to tell me through signing that his teeth are hurting or he wants CONSTANT cuddle time or he is bored and wants to go outside to play or he wants a particular toy he cant reach.

It is a really frustrating when my sweet calm easy going baby is now 8/+fussing all the time.... and his dad and I disagree on how to handle it

I'm glad it's being used by so many people.  I can understand the teething and the disagreement of discipline.  My husband and I had to find a sitter and sit down to talk about what we both believed to be the right way to handle the situation.  We came up with whoever got to the child first was the disciplinary one and the other parent kept silent.  It worked for a time, but after a while we had to come up with a new plan since our children figured out we were doing that.  It took time, but we did finally come up with a firm discipline technique that we both agree with.