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| Raising Girls |
| Public online group |
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| My daughter Allie is four years old and is a sweet little girl, but only when we are alone. When it is just Allie, her stepdad, and I she is very nice, and quite, and is very easy going. She listens to instructions and obeys when we tell her to do or not to do something. We love spending time with her when it's just the three of us. But when we are around other people she wants to be the center of attention and she doesn't care how she does it. She begins by asking the person their name, then "what are you doing", and then "whats that?", then she gets deep into conversation with the person and starts saying "watch me do this" or "I can do this". Doesn't bother me as long as it doesn't bother the person, until I tell her it's time to go or we have something to do. Then she brings out the other side of Allie. This is also her form of being the center of attention. She begins to defy me by saying "no!" or "when I'm done mom!" And then she throws a fit right in front of the person. Now I get embarrased because sometimes I feel like I don't know how to handle the situation without making myself look like a jerk. This is a bigger issue when it's infront of her Grandma, MY MOTHER! Because Grandma lets her get away with everything, she runs to her to get out of almost everything. Which usually causes an argument between me and my mother because she says "I'm not doing it right". There is definitly more to this then just Allie. How would you handle this situation? Any advice would definitly help my situation. |
| Posted by Cristina on 07/18/2007 08:00 PM
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Hello Cristina,
First of all don't be embarrassed. I know it is hard not to. I have a 5 yr old and she does some of the same things. I can do this and such. She has her fits and they get very smart and know what buttons to push.
I simply let her know that if she continues to that behavior she will go in time out. I will do it anywhere because there is always a corner. SHe will stay at least 10 minutes. I don't believe in the minute per year guide. Also their time out starts when they are quiet, not talking back and trying to get out of the corner.
Mothers on the other hand are always hard to deal with. I am starting to say "I am her mother not you", "Let me handle this"
Also another thing to do is. Leave the room with your daughter and speak to her calmly straight in the face and explain to her what you did is wrong.If you do it again you will be in time out. They should always have a warning.
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| posted by Lauren on 07/19/2007 08:19 AM
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| I had a similar situation with my Mom. I sat her down and asked her to help me with this so that we can be on the same page with my daughter. I explained that Abby can see out tension about who is in charge of the parenting. She agreed and we came to an agreement about how we would handle her in situations. It was hard for me to do since I am the parent and my Mom is not, but my Mom just wanted to help. I had to understand that she did not know her boundaries and we had to establish some. Now we seem to get along better and Abby knows that we mean business! She is behaving better. I am not an advocate of Hillary Clinton per se, but it does "take a village" in my opinion...however, remember that you are the Mom and make sure your Mom knows that you have the final decision about what is best for Allie! |
| posted by on 07/24/2007 09:53 AM
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