hi ladies. it's been a long time since i posted but i have to let this out.  we had a miscarriage back in march and now i am pregnant again and i am so paranoid. i am not able to sleep.  i have a 3 year old son and i remember not being this scared, and i dared, yes, to even drink my coffee in the morning and eat what i want, except when i was throwing up.  now i am scared on drinking tea and i am doing probably too much reserach and i hear that cloves can cause miscarriage and i haven't told anyone in my family i am pregnant (i am nine weeks now, i think). i haven't gone to the doctor (i have an appt, next week), but mostly i am scared that she is going to tell me bad news.  my husband has been great and he says we will be fine but you know, i never thought i would have a miscarriage and you always think it can't happen to me.  right now i am thinking it can't happen to me twice but i am really worried.  esp. b/c normally, i throw up a lot for my first preg. and my second and although i am nauseous now i am not even throwing up much.  lastly, the last miscarriage, i didn't even have ANY SIGNS of miscarriage. no spotting, bleeding, i was throwing up yadda yadda and it was an ultrasound that told us and we were shocked!  well, i did have a constant backache and i have a backache now and it's freaking me out.  well, i am scared of the ultrasound now.  i am just getting emotional right now...um...can someone just tell me to calm down, please!

Hi Lalitha:

I'm so sorry for what you have gone through. I know it has got to be scary - it's scary enough when things are going right. i know i could say, don't stress, but i know that is easier to say than do. you are not alone and you will be alright. everything will be fine. i don't know what your faith/religion is but prayer or meditation might help you a lot - to feel positive and hopeful and less stressed. during my last pregnancy, i didn't feel up to praying one time so i asked my husband to pray for me out loud right next to me while i was laying down. that surprisingly made me feel so much better and really loved. take a deep breath and calm yourself. live in the day and try not to think about next week. it'll be here before you know it and you'll have good news i'm sure of it. *hugs*

I completely understand how you feel.  I lost two pregnancies before I had my children, and it was heartbreaking.  And, yes, i was also terrified.  I will tell you two things that really helped me.  One was sharing the news that we were pregnant.  The support was very appreciated since everyone understood that we were scared.  having to go through the fear alone is awful.  And, I hadn't told anyone I was pregnant in the first place, so I felt very odd then sharing the bad news that I had lost them.  I learned that you have to share it all so that people can share in the happiness and pain with you.  Medically, the thing that helped me a LOT was having an OBGYN who understood that I had 5 yrs of infertility and 2 miscarriages under my belt before she ever met me.  she knew I had emotional baggage and fears that "normal" pregant women didn't have.  she treated me with kid gloves.  A couple extra sonograms to show me the baby was fine, seeing me earlier than most and more often at first.  Be honest with your doctor and expain your fears.  Then do what you can to occupy your heart and brain so you don't dwell.  Pour all your love and energy into your son and just know that you have an extra angel in heaven watching over you and your family.

Good luck, and if you ever need to vent, I'm always here.

i'm sooo sorry for your loss! it can and will be hard afterwards. just realize that stress from worrying will do NOTHING beneficial for you or the baby. i always put my trust in the all-knowing almighty god! sometimes we feel powerless in a situation and that's because we are! life and death are all up to god and no matter what we do, certain things are inevitable. my best advice to you would be to pray and try (even though it seems impossible) to not worry! i believe that the stress will be the most detrimetal to your unborn child. i always encourage people to pray! if you put all of your trust in the almighty god, there is no reason to worry, and if you're going to worry, don't bother praying. that is as simple as i can state it. have faith, put your trust in the mighty creator and trust that all will be fine!

peace, love and blessings!

I know what you are going through, I lost our first one in 2004. When we got pregnant the second time we waited till I was in my second trimester before we started tell, although some people found out early. We now have two beautiful little girls (a 2yr old and a2month old). I still miss our first one and think of it quite often but I know its in a better place.

Things will work out for you I promise. Relax and try not to stress to much it will be better for both of you. Good luck with your Dr app.

I can completely empathize with you, as many other women I am sure. I had my son when I was 20. I did not get pregnant again until I was 29. I had a miscarriage the weekend after our first doctor's appointment, and I had just told EVERYONE! I did not conceive again until 2008 at age 35. I was TERRIFIED> I felt lik this could be my last chance at a baby and it had been so difficult to get pregnant. We had not gone through fertility treatmenst as we just did not have the extra money. I began spotting right around 8 weeks, just like before. I thought it was happening all over again.

Fortunately, that is not what happened. I carried my healthy baby girls to 37 weeks and delivered her naturally. I will nto say that I was not scared the entire pregnancy. Besides the spotting, I had contractions around 25 weeks. I was walking on eggshells to a certain extent. But I just kept myself investd in work and family. I also shared my fears with my husband and my mother. It helped to know other people understood. I wish I could tell you how to get rid of your fear, but there are no awnsers for this type of thing. Just hold on o the thought that this can work out. No 2 pregnancies are the same, so try not to guess by symptoms and what-not. You will only know if it does happen. You cannot predict it or prepare.

Fear is the hardet part of being a parent. But it is worth it.

hi ladies!  thanks for all your support and encouragement.  i had the dr. appt yesterday.  she was very nice and understanding and we did an Ultra sound. i was freaked out about what it would show b/c w/ my miscarriage, i didn't have any symptoms and we only found out thru the ultrasound the baby wasn't developing.  but anyway, the doctor found a good heartbeat and the baby looked normal she said.  she said chances of miscarriage are reduced, esp. if there is a strong heartbeat and that reassured me.  she did tell me to take it easy the first. trimester and my husband has been wonderful. i am still scared but i feel better after the appt.  thanks for all your thoughts and prayers ladies!

hi ladies.  i know i posted this a while back. I just wanted to let you all know that i am now 15 weeks.  we've had two ultrasounds and it is showing that the baby is fine.  i feel pretty good, although i have to admit i am still having panic attacks and run to the bathroom to check pretty often.  i think i will feel much much better after i cross sixteen weeks, i don't know why.  i did tell my family and they were all very excited and praying, so thanks to you all as well for your thoughtful words!