I cannot believe I've found myself in this position but I have. I'm married, but not for long, and about to have my first child. My spouse has decided that children are not what they want so I'm going to be on my own with my child very soon.

I'm looking for advice on how to move on and deal with the fact that I will be a single parent. I'm in my 30's and well established in my job but I live in a very expensive county so I will be moving back with my parents until I can get on my feet.

I'm still dumb-struck by all of this. After we found out I was pregnant the breakdown began. My spouse is now saying they are unhappy in our relationship and wants out. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

ShoreMom

I feel for you. My husband also didn't seem to want a family after it was on its way. I was with him for the first 1.5 years of my daughter's life, and it was hell. He never helped with the house or the baby. I paid most of the bills from my maternity benefits and he went and spent his. As much as it is really scary being on your own as parent - its better than having to take care of him too! As for moving on - I've found it incredibly difficult. I moved closer to my parents as well, and they have been a god send. It is devastating to go from having this vision of how life should go and then be completely going in the opposite direction. It is good that you have a good job - I didn't return to work after my maternity leave was up and I found starting completely all over in a new city pretty daunting. Good luck and I hope you have shoulders to cry on.

I feel for both of you... I had worked full time, went to school at night and was the primary parent for my two girls. My now exwife who was in the military, and away from home for weeks at a time (I was always faithful & took pride in it)... Decided family life was too much work, and partying while she was away was more fun.. Eventually she simply didn't return from a trip away from home...

The happiest days of my life were those with a "complete" family... no matter how delusioned I was...

Life has only gotten harder.. Being alone is difficult (more so for a guy I think)

Things will be better for your child not having a half hearted parent. It will be a challenge for you... but it is more rewarding then I can say... I don't think anyone expects to be alone raising a child.. You will be great at it.. And who knows how long you will be alone..

I too managed to find a guy that after the baby came life went all to hell. He never helped me, I became exhausted, depressed and angry.  I started counting how many baths I had given to his NONE, how many times I fed my son to his ONCE... All he cared about was his hobbies and work. I found out before my maternity leave was over he had been seeing that the "grass was greener on the other side" as he put it with an employee of his. This left me devasted, about to lose everything, no job and becoming what I wanted least in this world, to be a single mom.  We even had the "are we sure we want to bring a child into this world" conversation prior to conceiving because both our parents divorced and we didn't want our child to grow in that situation.  He now barely sees his son, cannot cope at all with the smallest problems that come with raising a toddler.  My son is now 4 and I am proud to say I have raised him all by myself and he is an awesome kid.  It has been really tough but in the end I have the best kid ever and that is what matters. 

Yes I found dating not so easy.  I did the on-line dating which actually I found kind of fun.  So I would recommend it even to just get an ego boost.  I was lucky to have met a couple really nice people that way to which a couple are now friends of mine.  I haven't had much family support and none from "the dad" so I basically do this alone. So for my sanity I joined a couple groups. One is a single parent group in Pickering in which we just learn about ways to cope and just getting out to meet other single parents is good.  I also joined a divorce group which has helped me talk about my feelings to people that understand exactly how I feel.  I also played on a ball team this summer and my team was so helpful.  I was able to bring my son and play and everyone pitched in to keep an eye on him.  A really nice way to both get out and have fun. 

What I would love to find is some more single parents to get together and have play dates with. Even eventually find a couple parents to share babysitting to get out once in awhile without the big cost.  Gives you time to get out and then return the favour next time round. 

Good luck to all. It is tough but also rewarding.