Hello, I'm Kristin and I'm new to this whole website. I'm a single mom of an almost 3 yr old boy. His father has never seen him nor has asked to see him. I guess it helps him sleep better at night. I've got to say that it's really hard being a single mom, but he is the best thing that has every happened to me.

 I've also got a question for you other moms out there. I'm 27, so I'm not sure if it's cause I look young or if it's just the way people are, but why is it that other people think they can tell me how to raise my son? Or that look people give you when they find out you're a single mom, what is up with that? Does this bother anyone else?

Kristin,

I have a almost 3 year old (in one month) - I separated from her father a year and a half ago and moved 3 hours away from him closer to my family. I find that since my marriage dissolved my family has become very opinionated as to how she's being raised and has many "suggestions" as to how we should live and such. I find it incredibly difficult as a single mom - finding a job that works with daycare especially, and discipline. I was a stay-at-home mom when I was married, and did the "attachment parenting" style of raising her, which I can see the benefits of, but is extremely taxing on a couple little alone a single mom. I also find it difficult to balance between being "mom" (cooking, cleaning, dressing), playmate, moral/behavioural guide and finding time for me somewhere in there so that I don't go crazy.

So in the end I don't think its only because you look young (I'm 29), but because of your situation people generally feel you need their often unasked for advice. The problem is when they think their way is the ONLY way, and you feel demoralized for the amazing effort you're doing in raising a child alone when really it takes a village. Remember, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, if your son is happy, healthy and feels loved then the rest of the world can go to some sulphur ladden place :-)

All the best,

Alexandra

Kristin,

First of all you should be extremely proud of yourself; being a single parent is by far the hardest job in the world.   I think people are just trying to help, but it really doesn't.  I am a single mom of a 2.5 year old boy.  I am a professional who works 40 hours a week, my son goes to daycare 2 days and to my folks house (they are retired) 3 days.  I wouldn't change it for the world.  Think of it this way:  you have no one else to please, just your little boy, you have no one elses laundry or dishes, and the aggravation that comes along with having a man in the house.  I agree with Alexandra that it takes a village to raise a child.  One thing that helped me as far as discipline goes is I had everyone watch the 1,2,3 Magic video (that is the technique I use for discipline).  We are all on the same page now.  I demand my son listen and obey me (most of the time anyway) because I am a single mom and I need to have some sort of order and for him to not fight me; I dont have the energy for it, or the time.  He is a wonderful little boy and people think he is a joy to have around-for which I am grateful!  One thing that helped me immensely is hiring a woman to clean my house every other week for 2 hours.  At 15 dollars an hour I am only out 60 dollars a month and I tell you.....it has saved my sanity.  I just needed something that I WASNT in charge of.  I don't really consider it my responsibility anymore and it has helped my attitude.  I am 35, but I look very young.  Sometimes you have to be blunt with people who want to give you advise.  That was another thing for me to get used to...being blunt.  But, it's for my boy so it is ok.  Hope this helps some.  Believe me, you are not alone.  Hang in there.

Sincerely,

Jen