I have never joined a online group before but i thought i would give it a try.

I have been married for almost 2 years to my husband, a lead singer in a band. My husband is on the road touring in other countries for 9 months of the year and it can be very difficult and lonely.

Since i got married young (21) i noticed alot of my single friends have been disapearing (pretty much all my friends). My husband and i dont have time to hang otu with other couples since he is home so little, so i find when he is gone now i am very much alone. my family lives hours away and i find i have to work and keep as busy as possable to be ok

i choose not to go on tour, for health reasons i end up in the hospital far too often and i foudn it difficult watching all the groupies throwing themselves at my husband each night while on the road. when i... hadnt showered for days dirty clothes and no time to look very presentable it was hard on my self esteem to see girls who obviously spent hours getting ready all over him even though my husband is very faithful

i get a little jelous of fans and friends they have on the road they choose to stay with instead of hotels... seeing pictures on facebook of my husband teasing the young girls pertending to throw then in water or whatever else.... though harmless hurts because hes not with me.

i feel like im starvign for attention and it scares me. its so hard to talk when hes busy on the road playing a show each night. sometimes we dont talk for days to weeks and when we do i have a hard tiem talking to him because its been so long. i feel like im just getting worse and though my husband i trust i dont always trust my heart. im hanging by a thread...

and its so obvious that im not ok... i feel like im screaming for attention. my weight has gone from 107 when we started dating, 104 when we got engaged 97 when we got married and now 90 pounds... i hardly sleep, i have had panick attacks and when i was given a temporary prescription for it... i decided (stupidly) to overdose and slept through two days... im very lost in this.

i try to be supportive he is a wonderful man and though i numb my self often in our situation i do love him alot

Welcome, J.  What a sweet and understanding response, Dawn. 

I was on this site a lot until there were some issues with lack of privacy.  But I wanted to jump back in and let you know that we all understand.  Every couple has unique issues that heighten the inherent challenge of living happily ever after with a working musician.  My family is 3500 miles away, so I am very lonely when he's on tour - I understand about not having many friends and always being alone.  I have a dog, and that helps a lot.  Plus, I try to be social; force myself so I don't feel imprisoned in my own home by the lifestyle we've chosen. 

I think it's okay to think about stuff while he's gone, just not to let life pass you by.  You're still living a life when he's touring, so make it the best it can be! 

As far as your health is concerned, it sounds like you need some help.  I have a medical issue myself, and I try really hard to not allow this lifestyle to add more stress and strain to that.  Some of it is unavoidable, of course, but there are things you can do: the basics - like eating right, exercising, getting enough sleep, and not abusing yourself - and then things like giving yourself room to be sad or lonely, not saying yes to helping others all the time when you feel like you're the one who needs help, joining a support group (good for you!), etc. 

I'm not sure if I read it right, but your message sounds like you love your husband but are worried about your own ability to be faithful, what with him being gone all the time and you seeing pictures of him spending time with other women (no matter how innocent).  Is this right?  Everyone has blips of feelings for others from time to time - it's natural.  The difference is that when you've committed to someone through marriage (or whatever method you choose), you've taken an oath to remain faithful regardless of those feelings, and to not want to feel them, and to do everything you can to not have them, or to squelch them when they arise.  I believe in my heart that cheating is one of the most destructive and hurtful things that one person could ever do to another.  If I read your message right, and there is an inkling there, please do whatever you have to do to prevent cheating.  You will never, ever be able to undo it, and it changes everything.  Forever.

Thanks Dawn and Susan i appreciate your responses... its nice to know i am not alone because often it really feel that way.

To answer you question Dawn, we dont talk often because hes so busy with work... we are working on it but being young and starting out he tries to be out working shows getting his name out to fans who may not have heard of them,,, from before the doors open till it ends... leaving time once everything is over to call or when the phone is free ( he shares a ohone with the band when not in our country) depending on the time zone and when we are not in the same time zone it can be very very late at night

I guess i should choose my wording a little more wisely. I have no intention to cheat on him. That wouldnt be in my heart. i find i go "numb" more and more as our relationship has gone on but... i dont look around nor am i interested in finding a relationship. im just having a hard time being married when i hardly feel as if i am. i have guy friends but it makes me very uncomfortable to be around them alone and i avoid it. i dont trust guys which is why its hard when the (girl) friends i had have been disapearing. cheating for me though is never a option.

i love him very much its just... a lonely life sometimes.