Hi, everyone.  I have been having a pretty bad time with loneliness.  I have tried playgroups but felt out of place because my pregnancy was unplanned and all the women in my group had planned and tried to get pregnant for at least a year, therefore, I just felt totally out of place.  I was in a new mom's group through the hospital that I delivered at but they only let you stay until your baby is 6 months old (my boy is 7 1/2 months).  Since I have left that group, there has been little to no interaction with anyone besides my husband.  Almost all my friends are single with no kids so they rarely contact me anymore since I can't just pick up and go.  I just don't know how to handle this isolation.  I usually am a bit of a, well, loner, but you can only have so much!  I suppose part of this issue is that I am a stay at home mom (not completely by choice). 

I would appreciate any suggestions that anyone can supply.  I wouldn't mind volunteering but have not had much luck with that, either.  I would need to be able to take my son with me as we cannot afford childcare and I breastfeed (he won't take a bottle).

Thanks,

Sarah

Hi Sarah,

I totally understand how you are feeling. I'm a stay at home mom with my 7 month old son. My husband is away for six months with his job and most of my friends have moved away and those who are here are also single and have abandoned me since I've had a baby. My family lives on the other side of the country and so I often feel quite alone...with very little support.

I did join a Mom meet up group. (Meetup.com) and it was a great way to get out of the house for a few hours in the early days of being a mom. I often felt quite intimidated by the group too though, the outings were mostly tours and didn't allow moms to get to know each other. Usually everyone would leave right after the tour so there was no time to chat, or else there were some cliques in the group that were hard to get into.

What I did, was I volunteered to organize some of the meet up outings. That gave me an in and gave me a little project every so often. So, I organized things like picnics in the park...so that everyone could have time to chat etc. That helped me feel more accepted and sociable in the group.

I suggest seeing if there's a Meetup.com group in your area...and if not, start one yourself ! You'd be surprised how many moms are in the same boat as you. That might give you the volunteering opportunity that you want too....

Other things that I've been doing :

I sometimes chat with other moms at playgrounds, coffee shops, where ever other stay at home moms like me wander to. I've met many who are in the same boat as me. I've also been fortunate enough to get to know my neighbour who has a 6 month old. She and I often go to lunch or for a walk etc. The only way I got to know her, was I approached her one day and asked if she'd be interested in going for a walk some time... then, I just kept knocking on her door, inviting her out :D We've become good friends now and she and her husband have been a great support to me and my son.

Also, we're taking swimming lessons...and checking out whatever other classes / events our city has to offer every week.

I've become quite the social butterfly since I've become a mom...something that I certainly wasn't before :D So, be brave Sarah.... I'll bet there are lots of opportunities for you too. Also, remember... you're not completely alone, you have a sweet little 7 1/2 month old that you get to hang out with everyday....take time to have fun with his little personality too. There's nothing wrong with a mom and baby boy chatting amongst themselves in the park you know :D

Hope that helps !

Vanessa

When I first had my son, I was walking around my local mall and a stroller strides instructor gave me a pass to come try out a class. The class met three times a week and the other moms were from all walks of life. I actually met a mom who lived in my complex only a block away that I probably wouldn't have met otherwise. We had moms night outs at least once a month and after the stroller strides class, we would all go get coffee with the kids and chat. When my family moved closer to the city to be near my parents, it was too far to drive to stroller strides three times a week, so I joined a local moms group on RaisingThem.com. I suggest you look up some local moms group on THIS site. Make sure there calendar is current though! Good luck!

Like Vanessa i joined the local meetup group in my town.  You can search for Stay at home moms groups in your area or parenting groups in your area in meetup.com.  I also joined gymboree classes and I go to the local library for .  Hope this help. 

Hello,

Don't feel bad. You can come away from loneliness.

I am new to this country and i am first time mom and SAHM. I don't even know driving. Cant even go to library, park or visit playgroup. I don't have any friends. I joined in this group now talking to other moms.I am trying to make new friends.

See u now for your posting many mom replied. Talk to other mom in this group few will become your friends.

Thank you, everyone.  I appreciate the feedback and I will look into some of the suggestions.  I guess I need to keep looking into some groups and keep in touch with the few other moms that I have met and enjoyed being around.  :-)