NOW THAT REALLY HAS ME LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!! i could see a younger child acting like that, a 9yr. old should have more appreciation than that! my son turned 5 in may. he is grateful, very grateful because i damn near scream the lesson in his ear every time i get the chance! now he'll say things to me like" perhaps if you can afford it, it'd really like to have this." you have to start young, but it's not too late. he even only gets 1 present for his birthday! the more he has, the less he'll learn to appreciate. when i see his toys all over the place, i kindly tell him that he's disrespecting his things, and if nothing is done, i'll solve the problem. one day it came down to just that. i kindly went and got a garbage bag, and started filling it with the toys he left all over the place. when he asked me what i was doing i said i was cleaning up his mess. i let him know that there are TONS of children who are not as fortunate as him, and when the toys go in the bag, it's a 1 way street and he'll NEVER see them again! i had him come with me right down the street to a family that has it HORRIBLY! he handed the toys over to their son. i said "now look at how happy he was to recieve something that you treated like garbage!" he cried, but he understood. not just around thanksgiving, but during the year i arrange for us to go to the homeless shelter so we can help feed the homeless. at home, he will now even tell his little brother not to waste food. i tell him all the time that he can probably go right down the street to find someone starving! i tell him all the time when he'll say "i don't want that, or i want this instead." that it's not about what he wants. the other day, and the toy giving away insident happened a while ago, he came to me and said "mommy, i have so many toys! let's see if someone who has none would want some of them." i said "honey, i think that's a wonderful idea and you are a sweetheart for even thinking of it!" when i make them something to eat, and they say they don't want it, i say fine, wrap it up, and give it to them later when they say they're hungry again. AND DON'T DARE LET ME GIVE HIM SOMETHING AND HAVE HIM SAY HE DOESN'T LIKE IT!!! i will take it away and he would never see it again! him and his brother were fighting over a red spiderman action figure. i took it and said it's mine now b/c you guys need to learn how to share, you'll get it back when i see that you've learned something. bet your ass they're learning from it! they share like never before now! if i were you i would take the dresser out of the room and see how he likes having his things on the floor for a month or so! you have to understand that a dresser is NOT a necessesity! perhaps if he has to go without one, he'll appreciate what you did for him, and won't mind the color so much! i don't know...people have called me harsh, but my son does not pull that nonsense with me anymore!!! enough is enough, and you HAVE to nip it in the bud, quick fast and in a hurry! if you let things continue, it will no doubt only get worse from here. even when people say they want to get something for him. i tell them, it has to be educational, and if not, they can give him money that i will put towards his college fund. they have a t.v. in their room with no cable, and have to ask permission to watch a video. people think i'm harsh, but my method works, and works well for me! you know what he said to me the other day??? he said "mommy, i know how hard you work, and i think i should be helping you out more." he has decided for himself to wash anything he uses in the bathroom sink when he's finished using it. i'm talking rinsed, washed and dried! he also has chores to do around the house. it's not like i treat him like cinderella, or a red-headed step child, but he KNOWS, if you want things in life, you have to earn them, and in a family, everyone has to do their part. a family is a group that should be working together, not a group of individuals that should act on their own. i really hope this has helped! good luck to you in your efforts!!! |
