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| Stay at Home Moms |
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| Hi everyone, I am fairly new to the group, and i have a 2 year old boy (he's almost 3) and a 10 month old little boy, and they both are extremely active! I'm stuck with them both all day long......and sometimes i feel like i am losing my ability to communicate with the rest of the world! I feel like i am talking, but no one is listening, or can understand what i'm saying! My social skills are atrophying at an alarming rate..........and either i constantly seem to offend someone or I end up offended, when in the past, i don't remember being that sensitive about things! I read what a lot of what the other moms post on here, and everyone says things that i feel too, so i know that i'm not alone.......but gosh, I wish that we lived next door to each other or something, so that we weren't so all alone!! I feel like i'm on this little island and there is no one around but my two little boys, and i'm sure you know how much conversation is like with those two! |
| Posted by Becky on 07/12/2007 12:16 PM
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Dear Becky,
You are so right! We all go through the same things, the only differences sometimes is when we do and how we react to them.
My worst was not having anything to discuss with my husband or friends when I ran into them. I wise christain marriage couple mentored us and when of the best pieces of information was to tell me to look up, read the paper, or some sort of news each day. Then I was to write down two - three topics of interest to discuss after dinner with my husband. Granted lots of times I forget, but it greatly helped me, him and us. I also try to occasionally research some thing he is interested and share it with him. I bet you could do the same thing for a girlfriend. Another tidbit was to learn the name of the cashier or teller or someone you visit weekly and then make a casual connection.
have a nice day. |
| posted by Tina on 07/12/2007 12:27 PM
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Hi Becky,
Where are you? I am near King of Prussia, PA....it would be nice to get together for a playgroup (and adult conversation!) I have an 18 month old daughter. I agree, it does get a little lonely sometimes. |
| posted by Jamie on 07/12/2007 01:28 PM
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| Hey Becky, I think as a SAHM we all feel that way sometimes, I know I sure do. For me I got more sensitive after my son. I think it is hormones and you view the world in a different light after kids. When my son was a year I felt like I was getting dumper |
| posted by Karolyn on 07/12/2007 01:51 PM
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| (sorry I hit enter button to soon) so I started to read adult books again instead of only child rearing books. I joined a mother's club, so I got some adult interaction. I still have days where I feel I am srinking socially but it is not everyday now so I can get through them. Lately since I join this website it has helped me so much. Good luck and I know you'll find a solution for yourself. |
| posted by Karolyn on 07/12/2007 01:57 PM
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Becky! I totally know what you mean! .. . . I have a degree in English and I'm constantly saying to my husband, "what's that word, for when you ___ ? you know . . ." It's like I'm stupid or something! lol
I started working from home few months ago though & my vocab is getting a lot more "adult" lol and better! it also gives me a self-esteem boost to use the other non-mommy parts of my brain! ( If you're interested you can send me a message)
I'm not knocking staying at home at all because I love it when my daughter (9mo) looks up at me and smiles, all day long! it's fun to work and play at the same time! |
| posted by Rochelle on 07/12/2007 06:20 PM
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| Thanks everyone....and yeah, I was going to college for my Geophysics degree when i got pregnant with my first son, 15 CREDITS SHORT.....someday maybe i'll finish......but meanwhile, don't ask me anything physics or math related, i won't be able to answer you! and i've tried joining some mom groups (they didnt work out, for some reason, women tend to be rather clique-y!!) and i've tried SEVERAL at home businesses, those didn't work out either.....and i unfortunately can't work outside the home due to a medical condition now.......so i'm kind of stuck.....socially atrophying down to my 2 year son's level....... |
| posted by Becky on 07/12/2007 07:59 PM
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| And i LOVE being a SAHM to my boys, don't get me wrong, i just wish that i could find a nice group of women that didn't act like a bunch of junior high girls..........i want intelligent, mature conversation, that i can learn things from, you know? |
| posted by Becky on 07/12/2007 08:05 PM
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| Hi Becky. What state do you live in? I can't work because of my husbands long hours and i too feel so lonely, and sometimes just downright worthless. I am in NJ, but am not from here, so I have no family or friends around me, so I am completely alone. I too feel the same about how women can be sometimes and maybe thats also part the reason I have no friends. I just don't want the cattyness, talking behind backs, the comparisons. I want trustworthy, mature, down to earth friends. So if you ever want to talk I'm here. That'd be even nicer if you lived close, but what are the odds? lol Lisa |
| posted by Lisa on 07/12/2007 11:08 PM
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Hi Becky, feeling alone is one of the "job risks" that come with a SAHM, my husband usually works 10 hours 6 days a week and sometimes Sundays also, when he comes in the door he wants to crawl in bed..and I am ready to run out the door and say see you later to my husband and two kids, 3 yrs old and 16 months old.
We are working towards paying a good portion of our house mortgage off. We started reading this book called the total money make over,by Dave Ramsey. Since we started doing this it seems to have given us some kind of "connection". I am trying to connect with other moms as well...and so far the only ones that seem to share the same thoughts as me are the women on here...we should have a "desperate stay at home womens club" lol.
Maybe there are other women that we see daily that have similiar thoughts as us, but they might be to nervous about what people will think of them if they "dare" to admit that staying at home is not all warm and cozy that you think it should be like. Everyone wants to be around people that are happy or seem to have it all together, so maybe other women are running around trying to mimick what they think they should be. Just my thoughts.
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| posted by on 07/13/2007 03:19 PM
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Well I'm glad it's not just me. I live in Oklahoma. We moved here because of my husbands job. I think if we had our choice we would go back in a minute. But he makes good money and we can afford me not to work. But it is hard not having any family within 900 miles of us. We have lived here for almost 4 years and I worked at one of the University's up until I had my son then I decided to stay home with him. He is 17 mos old and I love being home with him. But we have very little outlets. I have tried finding playgroups in my area but we live in such a small town that the closests groups I have found are an hour away. My husband goes out of town some during the week he drives so he tries to make it just one day trips but sometimes he drives 8-900 miles a day just so he can come back home so I'm not by myself all the time. I have never had a babysitter for my son not even for like an hour, its been all me 24/7 for 17 mos. My husband does a lot of work on the phone and the computer so he is here a lot but he is in his little office. We do get to go to lunch several times a week or maybe go on a short trip with him but sometimes you just need to be around girlfriends. Men can start to get on your nerves after awhile haha. Seriously though if anyone ever wants to chat I'm ready and willing. I hope this didn't sound like a pity party I just know where you all are coming from cause I feel the same way.
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| posted by amy on 07/13/2007 04:11 PM
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I know how you feel Becky. Some times a feel so tired and just want to cry but the last time a I have called my husband and said just listening! and start crying and he said I know being a mom is so hard and I am so proud of you .... and after that I felt so good, I hate to be sad or mad in front of my 18 months old Lucas. I am a very happy person and very outgoing but we have those days like you can have at other tipe of work. I dont have a friend in this are. We have moved the last december and if a want to be with a friend have to drive 1 hour.
I found that really enjoy cooking. It's helping to feel better. Next weekend 3 moms friends are going to Napa (winery place) to spend the weekend with out husband and kids!!! CANT WAIT!! I told them dont want to move a finger just do nothing and massages only.!!!!!!! We are going to do it once a year. You are not the only one. Now have to spend time to my baby...Good luck!!!! |
| posted by Angela on 07/13/2007 05:25 PM
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