Okay, me and my boyfriend met when we were young party animals. We got pregnant had our beautiful son and live a fairly normal happy life together. We are still very young, 25 years old, trying to finish college, work to support our family in between all the other random things life throws at us too. I really don't even  know how to say this without being vulgar so to this I apologize...

I go to sleep by 10pm, I am miserable and tired from working, being mom, cleaning, cooking etc. And most nights I really don't want to have sex. He always tries and wants to which it's not I don't want to, it's I am so damn tired I can't even think on that level. Don't misunderstand, our sex life is active it's not like I am completely cold hearted. We range from 3-4 times a week. But on those nights or days that I'm not in the mood, he comes out to the computer and watches porn. This bothers me so much I don't even know what to do. The fact he is watching some other woman, with this fake boobies and being all nasty hurts my feelings. I wonder if when we are together, if he's thinking about me or these sluts on the computer. Plus, I don't want him looking at anything else. I find it ever disgusting too. I just came home from work and looked at the history, mostly porn with blondes and a few of them together too. I am not a blonde and there is only one of me. I just don't know how to handle it. Or even what to say, he knows I know because we fight about it. I know hes not out cheating on me but sometimes I think he would rather prefer his hand and big boobs sluts then being with me. My feelings are hurt... what do I do?

I had the same problem. Except he did it in secret. He ordered 100's of dollars on my cable bill, hid movies, etc.  I told him that if he wants to look at that stuff he can move out and look at it as much as he wants too.  It's like they are cheating on you - in a way.  Anyways, I changed my password for cable, installed a kids program on the computer that lets you monitor all websites visited, even if they delete the history, I check his stuff regularly.  So far I haven't had any more issues.  He knows where the door is - bottom line. 

It was three years ago that I found out my husband was hiding the cable bill from me and the reason why. We were out running errands and went into the lobby of the co. to pay our bill. It was extremely high. While walking away from the counter, I stopped and went back to the line to ask the same clerk what was the reason for such a charge. While waiting in line I felt my husband start to get nervous. I looked at him and he looked worried. He then looked at me and said "What?" He gave his self away. When we reached the counter the young man said we had ordered movies. He then highlighted the adult movies. I was in total shock and in disbelief. Not because of the movies, but because of the circumstances, time and dates when he acted. First of all, at that point we had been married for 16 years and all through our marriage he rejected me (he cheated after 10 yrs). Mind you I have always taken care of myself and my appearance. On many occasions I asked him to watch movies with me ( I know men like variety and I tried). I put on lingerie for him and he said  '"take it off that's not you", I was so hurt and felt like a failure at being sexy. On a different occasion I put on some music, candles and sexy nightie. "You always pick the wrong time, don't you know me by now"? is all I heard. I was crushed. I had so much rejection at that point I was done. Second, He ordered one in Dec(xmas time) and one in Jan after we had a hugh New Years party(didn't have sex that night). Third, and the most horrible of all, he went so far as to blame it on our 15 yr old daughter and 14 yr old son. He did it to their face(he finally admitted it). I was heart broken. I have put up with so much crap....and don't know why.....because I'm dumb.....stupid.....and said he really does love me. I'm still with him. I'm writing this and can't believe it's me. How sad is that? Not sure why he picked porns over me.....only he knows. Since then many many things have happened...my dad's death..I looked else where for companionship....he lost his job...dignity...is ill...he wants a family now. Did I mention he lies constantly. I guess one has to decide to accept it or not. Think about this, how hard is it for one to change one's own self? Then you can know how it will be for him to change. I said to my mother once " A women only has a man when he is too old to chase a skirt or when he is sick". She laughed and said I might have a point. I adored my husband back then....now not so much. I wanted to be a wife not a baby sitter. Good luck it's tough. Are there any decent men out there? I feel your pain and saddness.