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| Depression and Motherhood |
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i just need to vent!!!
ive been seeing this therapist and yesterday was my 3rd session. Now i know that when seeing a therapist the first couple of visits is more of getting to know you. they ask your background and all that. the therapist that im seeing i feel like im all over the place .. never on one topic. first visit she said i had postpartum and said it sounds like my dad is bipolar. 2nd visit we talked about meds. im scared to go on meds although i did make an apt with a psychiatrist. Spoke about my best friend and how out of it she was and how long it took her to find one that works for her. the therapist said that my friend prob was drinking or wasnt taking the meds. (not true!!) 3rd visit we talked about my husband and with the little bit i told her she asked me how confident i was to leave him! told her i guess i dont have confidents so i cant answer that question. she asked what is making me stay with him.. i said my sister!
(i spoke to my sister about my situation.. she is divorced and told me to try to work it out.. its normal marriage stuff and NOTHING she went through. (her ex was on drugs and stuff) suggested to go see a marriage councilor. )
For now i want to work on myself first before working on both of us. Im not sure if im the one causing most of the problems.. i have anger issues and i seem to take it out on my husband. i did explain this to my therapist in the 1st visit and the 2nd visit and Now the 3rd!!! she keeps asking to bring my husband in forgetting that i want to work on ME first. soooo annoying.
im just getting very frustrated. Can any one tell me if this is normal for a therapist? shouldnt they be writing stuff down as i talk??? especially background stuff (she hasnt even asked really.. its only when we jump from one subject to another) can they diagnose something when they dont even know me??? oh and when they give you something to do before the next visit.. dont THEY bring it up.. or do you usually have to remind them they gave you an assignment?
Thanks, Christina
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| Posted by Christina on 07/11/2007 01:20 PM
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Hi Christina, you have to do what is best for you. All I can say is follow your heart when it comes to you and your health needs. If you feel you need to work on you first, then that is the way to go.
You are strong and can do it.
Blessings to you,
Jeanne |
| posted by Jeanne on 07/11/2007 07:40 PM
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Hi Christina, Therapists are like dates. There are many out there and although it may be difficult to start over, I would suggest you take another look at someone else. My therapist was wonderful. If you want a second opinion e-mail me and I can give you her info. Don't give up on the help just because the helper you have chosen is not what you expected.
Be Blessed.
Toni |
| posted by toni on 07/15/2007 08:46 AM
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Hi Christina,
After the birth of my son, I went through a very difficult phase and was diagnosed with postpartum depression. My marriage was going through a difficult phase and I thought that it would be "easier" to get a divorce b/c then I would get some time off! Once I went on meds, and it does take some time to find the right one and dosage b/c everyone's body chemistry is different (this was told to me by my psychiatrist by the way) I finally found a dose/med that worked and I've been doing really well since. Postpartum depression is a chemical imbalance so divorcing your husband will probably not solve the problems you are experiencing.
My advice is this: find another therapist one that you feel comfortable with or find a psychiatrist that specializing in ppd and get on meds and get some therapy in the process. Work on you and then you can be the spouse that you want to be.
Good Luck, Robyn |
| posted by Robyn on 07/17/2007 06:15 PM
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Hello!
I think you need to be very careful about who you see. The term "therapist" is misleading at times. It could mean a person with just a few classes and not necessarily in the area you may need help with. I was in counciling in the past for about 3 years. Here are some of the things I learned for myself they may or maynot work for you. 1 - Check the credentials of your "therapist" is this person a person with a background in the area you need help with. How much schooling did he/she have? Are they practicing with just a couple of years of school at a junior college? Nothing against junior colleges, but this is your health you want someone with the best training. How many years has this person been practicing? Are you one of the first patients or has this person been working successfully for many years with a good reputation? 2 - If you don't like the therapist or feel like your concerns aren't being addressed, FIRE them. Don't worry about hurting the therapist's feelings it is your feelings you should be concerned with.
It does cost more to see a psycologist than a therapist, but I would consider the extra cost.
I have no idea what is going on with you and your husband, but that is your call not someone else's. If you want to talk about you and how you feel by yourself without having your husband there or focusing on him or your marriage, do it. If your husband is beating you or your child, I would say leave. Otherwise if you want to take time to fix you before making a rather life changing step, go for it. Too many big changes at once can contribute to depression (I am not saying leave or stay that is your choice). I just want you to know that a bunch of major changes such as marriage, new baby, divorce, changing jobs, moving or anyother life altering experience all at the same time can affect your depression. I try not to have too many changes going at once as that is what pushed me over the edge the first time.
As far as anger management goes, the best thing I have found is pottery. If there is anyway you can take a class in your area, give it a try. You get to beat the crap out of that clay and may or may not make something nice. If it turns out bad, oh well try again it will give you the chance to dryout the clay and wedge the mistake (more stress reduction). If you can learn on what is called a "kick wheel" even better. A kick wheel is powered by kicking the base not just stepping on a switch and really gets out some extra stress. Just remember if you do try the pottery, you are doing it to release stress so don't worry if you make a masterpiece. Also, artists are typically very critical so just take the class pass fail and remember you are there to beat the clay. |
| posted by Anna on 07/20/2007 12:57 PM
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Christina,
I have been thinking about you this week. I hope all is going well for you. Hang in there. |
| posted by Anna on 07/30/2007 09:05 PM
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sorry i havent posted in a while. i have been out and about the past couple of weeks. I found meetings to go to and really trying to work on myself. i started on meds so im a bit out of it.. im on my 4th day on it, i just cant wait for this part to pass!!! I took in what everyone wrote...I gave my therapist one more try and then decided that she is not working for me. I meet a new therapist Sat. We will see how that goes.
Thank you everyone for your support!! anna thanks for checking up on me =)
Christina
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| posted by Christina on 07/30/2007 09:37 PM
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| You know i would get a diffrent therapist, mine is prob the best in the world she is really great and has personaly been through what i have been going through. she listens to what i have to say and ask questions and has never once asked me to bring anyone else in. She is also good with my 3 year old son whom i started bringing with me. I have delt with a therapist like the one you arfe talking about dr. a vadia man that woman can make anyone cry and feel like shit. not to mention she suggested that i leave my 3 year old son in the hall by himself because she did not feel comfortable talking in front of him. like hell i was going to leave him in the hall by himself. that lady also never listened to a word i said and he always commented on my weight. hello i am pregnant. So i ended up switching to a diffrent person and she has been able to help me so much. and fyi not all meds work, everyone is diffrent. some ppl can take lexapro and have it work but i cant, and so i am on prozac which works well for me but my cousin is uneffected by it. |
| posted by saber on 10/15/2008 11:01 PM
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