Hello everyone. I need to vent to someone or something. So here it goes. I'm 8 months pregnant and I have a 2 year old daughter with my husband. My husband has a son from a previous girlfriend. My husband and I have been arguing for years over how I treat my stepson. He drives me freaking nuts. I hate to be near him now. He does everything to piss me off. I went aand talked to someone about this (a theripist) and he also told me that he thinks it's my stepson. My husband told me that I need to treat him better or we are getting a divorce. I am a stay at home mom and I have been since he was 3 years old. He is now 7years old. I told my husband that there's so much shit going on that I feel like I'm going to lose it. I am so bored staying at home. I used to take night classes but I had to stop until the baby is born. I talked to my ob about going on depressants after I have the baby. It's like I want to enjoy my stepson but I can't because he doesn't listen at all to me. He was born when I was 15 years old. I came into the picture (met his father) when I was 16 years old. My life was put on hold to take care of him because his mother didn't really want him. My husband worked so his son became "my issue" and not his. So for years I've been taking care of him pretty much by myself. My husband plays on the computer all the time and I've always had to do things with him. I told my husband staying home 7 days a week and not being able to do anything is depressing. We are now broke and we can't afford for us to even drive to a local park or anything. I can't take sitting in my house one more day. The heat makes me sick to my stomach since I'm almost about to have a baby. But it's like whatever I tell my stepson he does the opposite. Earlier I started to scream at him because he acts stupid. Then it's like I'm starting to think maybe he is really stupid and he has no common since at all. (his mother is extremely stupid). I told him why doesn't he play with his sister now because she's ready to take a nap in a little while and he will not wake her up to play. He looks at me and says huh? Why is she going to take a nap? I said to him she takes a nap everyday at the same time right? He looked at me with this look like he had no idea what was happening. Then he tells me no she doesn't take a nap everyday. It's just like I want to throw my head through the wall. IT is driving me nuts.  I dunno what to do anymore. My family has made comments to me about me saying things to him when he acts stupid but it's like am I the only one that it is annoying to? Who knows anymore. I hope some kind of medication can help me out. I love my husband to death and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. But his son aggravites me to no end. I feels sorry for thinking this stuff because my stepson really needs me but I can't stand when he acts like this.

ugh, i just typed out this whole thing but i wasnt logged in so it got deleted.

basically, the kid is not as stupid as you think. he is acting that way on purpose because it pisses you off. when i was little i used to do it all the time. he pushes your buttons because he thinks its funny when you get mad. and its even better for him because you havent figured out that's what he is doing. my opinion, and i am not a doctor or anything like that, is that he is doing it to get attention, which means that he thinks he isnt getting enough. maybe he also feels left out, or feels that you treat him differently. i mean you have a daughter with your husband and another baby on the way, these children belong to you. it seems clear that your stepson knows he doesnt. which explains why he might feel you treat him differently, you have said that people comment on the way you act when he says stupid things, maybe he feels that part of the reason you do that is because you feel differently about him then you do about your daughter. when your daughter says something like that do you yell at her, or get mad, or do you laugh it off as her just being silly.

I think you need to do three things, first is talk to your stepson about why he does these things, tell him that you know he is smart, so you dont understand why he says and does things that are not smart. at 7 he is old enough to have a conversation like that with you. second is stop getting mad when he does say something stupid. when you stop reacting to this he will stop thinking it is fun, he will get bored with it. and third is spend more time with him. maybe make your daughters nap time a fun time with him. play legos, draw, maybe watch a movie together. that way you will be spending quality time with him and he wont feel left out.

Maybe your stepson's just looking for attention and you're the only one he's getting it from, so to keep getting the attention he acts out.  I've only read a few lines of what Becky wrote, but do fun things with him so he doesn't feel left out.  I'm a navy wife and my husband spends a LOT of time at work and I try to do as much with my boys as possible to get out of the house and yes it usually throws nap time off for my youngest, but by the time we get home my oldest is fine going off and being alone because he's spent most of the day with the his brother and mom.

It sounds like attention but maybe he wonders why his "real" mom does not want him and he's acting out cuz of it.

I would try counceling. family counceling and just for him. Maybe he needs  a place to talk about what is  really bothering him. It would be good for you too maybe they could give you some different tools for you to use for and with him. i would be a great place to start if your husnad feels so strongly about the way you two communicate (your step son and you)..

michelle