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| Stay at Home Moms |
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Hi my name is Christie, I am new to the group also.
My question is what makes a good friend..a good friend?
I moved to South Carolina 8 years ago, the friends I had in Florida were great,
but I decided that I wanted to make good friends with women that were mature
and positive. The friends I knew and still talk to are great, but they are from the time
when my biggest concern was what kind of cereal do I want to buy at the store or
how long could I keep "snoozing" my clock before I had to get up.
So my obstacle is, I get along with women that seem to be a little shy or do not
emit a "strong" character.
My husband has this amazing strength and conviction in his self worth.
He says..just think more highly of your self. Makes sense, but I think guys over
simplify things. My husband says search inside yourself for the answers.
I thought I posted a question on here earlier..about making a good phone call when you are first establishing a friendship. Either question, I would love a response.
Critique away :)
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| Posted by on 07/10/2007 12:24 AM
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| I know what you mean.......i'm a military wife, and everwhere we've been I seem to make friends with the "flaky" ones....they seem normal, strong, mature individuals at first, and then, they become candidates for the therapists couch after i get to know them better. I seem to "collect" people that need someone to tell them what to do, and all i want is a friend to share some downtime with! to do normal things, like lunch or shopping! Someone i could call when I have a bad day, etc, etc. I think that's the definition of a good friend. you always see those commercials of those two old women having coffee together, or taking a walk together, and you just KNOW that they've been friends for decades, been through it all for each other. Thats the definition of friendship, and the hope of finding that someday is what keeps you looking........it just takes one person |
| posted by Becky on 07/10/2007 06:21 AM
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to me, a good friend is one that cares about other people and herself. one that lets you know she cares! i've found that my best friends have surprised me --- they're women i NEVER thought i'd have anything in common with. sometimes we talk about what kind of cereal to buy, but when push comes to shove, they are there.
i don't know that you can tell who will be a good friend before you're in crisis, since the proof is in the pudding.
also, to have a good friend, you must be a good friend! |
| posted by Christina on 07/10/2007 07:41 AM
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| I think a good friend is one who gives equal effort to the relationship.....they will call you to chat or invite you out. They will listen to you as much as they talk. They will not judge you, but accept you for who you are. I"m in my 40's with two young children and I have lived in 3 states..........I can say that it is hard to find friends like that, but when you do, they may be the intellectual, the life of the party, the shy type, or not as smart as you, but you will eventually find someone that you will click with! |
| posted by Kara on 07/10/2007 09:25 AM
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| a young mother at gymoboree gave me her number to call her for a play date adn when i did she said she call me back and never did. i too and trying to make friends and not doing that good of a job. my husband says i am too picky, that i want my friends to be perfect and nothing wrong with them. i cant help that i like really nice people even though i wouldnt consider myself really nice. if have no idea how to help you cause i would like some help that way. perhaps if there is someone you would like to be friends with perhaps just start small talk and then ask her if she wants to go for coffee with the kids and see what happens. i only try once, if i get nothing back then i move on. but thats why i have two good friends and they both live out of state. |
| posted by MARYANNE on 07/10/2007 10:14 AM
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| I believe that a good friend is someone that won't let you pity yourself, one that will encourage you to become greater than what you settle for, someone that listens, someone that loves and laughs, someone that keeps you smiling and uplifted and someone who will pray for you when times aren't the greatest. I believe that a real friend is someone who won't let you stay complacent when it comes to accomplishing more for yourself and becoming everything you are destined for. I believe that a real friend will tell you the truth, because that and that alone will make you free. I believe that a real friend is someone that no matter what you two have gone through or disagreed on, they remain your best friend. The best way for you to become a good friend is seeing yourself as a great, beautiful wife, mother, and friend and never settling for anything less than that. You have a wonderful day! |
| posted by Lynleigh on 07/10/2007 10:25 AM
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Absolutely amazing!! I love everyones response about, what makes a good friend..a good friend?
Thank you everyone for giving me such great insight. I feel good knowing, that there are people out there that put a lot of good stock in being a good friend.
Becky, I love the coffee commercials also..the music and the hint of great times. Have you noticed that as each generation changes..it seems that there is less and less of the type of friendships that grandmas have or have had? But everyone seems to be more open about how they really feel, so there is always good sides.
Christina, I agree with the knowing you have a true friend when you experience a tragedy or need to have a caring ear, I know I have this in my husband..very dependable..the trick is finding it in another female.
Kara, Living in different states has to be hard on every aspect of your life, I always think it is interesting about the way people always wish for the opposite of what they have...like straight haired people wanting curly hair and such. I think it is great that your kids will have the ability to be able to accept change and be have a closer relationship with their immediate family..they will be the ones to really understand each others happy times as well as their less than perfect days. I think it would be great to be able to have friends like clothes..happy friend..I'm there friend..and such and each one be the best in that area.
Maryanne, Hi I have the same situation with the phone number.
My son and the lady's son went to the same preschool..for a small period of time..2 months..towards the end when summer came she gave me this "such and such Mommy" like a business card for play dates, so our son's could get together. She does answer though..but she keeps on saying that she has plans at the moment moment..to call her back next week..last time I called her she said she had a play date set up..to call again in a few days to get together, no call back. Maybe some people require one friend at a time, and they have a specific " taste" like ice cream, maybe we just have not figured out what our "favorite taste" or brand is yet.
Lynleigh, hello I really like the thought out way you write.
My husband is a deep thinker / really good at believing in himself type of person, sounds like you are also. :)
He gave me the same response..packaged up different..but I hear what you are saying. My root problem might just be, that I do not have as much faith in myself as I thought I did, and this might be protrayed on the outside. Strong people like to keep company with others that make them feel good about themselves as well as others, in my opinion, I believe.
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| posted by on 07/11/2007 12:51 AM
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