Hey everybody. My mother is really getting on my nerves lately. I have four children. My oldest is 5, then 4, and 3 yr old twins.

My mother is ALWAYS telling me what not to say to my kids and correcting everything I say and do, right in front of them. This is soooo frustrating because the kids are right there listening to grandma tell MOM not to say something or telling me that Im too harsh on them or whatever!! So, then the kids dont think they have to listen to me because she will override what I say. A lot of times if they ask me for something and I say No, or Not right now, they will go ask her and she will say yes!! UUGGHHH.  And this is different from the typical grandmother just wanting to spoil her grandkids. We LIVE with her. . so this is a DAILY occurrence. She doesnt spoil them, well actually, she spoils my oldest one, and calls him "my son" meaning HER son!! She DRIVES ME CRAZY!!

She just criticizes me Constantly and everything she says is right in front of the kids!! Sometimes we get into arguments, like last night, because she just nags and nags and constantly gets on me about EVERYTHING! Its bad enough we live in her house, and Im trying to keep things at her standards of cleanliness, and shes always complaining about that, but having her tell me how to raise my kids and what to do and not do really PISSING ME OFF!

Its not a matter of talking to her about it, because she will not stop. She is immature and if I dont do what she wants, she wont do what I want. She is always telling me not to yell in her house, but with 4 kids, 5yrs and under its kind of hard not to yell/raise my voice. So, since I cant STOP yelling in her house, she wont change her habits with my kids. Yeah, very mature for a 50 yr old!

Ok I could go on all day, but I wont. Thanks for the vent!

i feel sorry for you.  i hope your situation gets better.

why do you live with your mom?

I live with her temporarily because my childrens father (fiance) and I broke up several months ago, and we've been working out our issues living separately, but I cant afford to live on my own with my four kids. I have car payment, phone bill, credit card, food, gas, etc. so to add rent and utilities, I just dont make enough to cover it all. We should be moving back in with my childrens father soon, but UUGGHHH... For the time being, I just try to deal with it silently because I hate to argue. Last night she wouldnt let it go, so we ended up arguing. :(

You know how everyone has that ONE person who makes them more mad than anyone else could? SHE is that person to me. She pushes me to my breaking point!

I have two age old sayings for you:

"Sometimes getting a slap in the mouth is well worth gettin gyour point across."

Use a perfect oppurtunity to express yourself. Maybe go to lunch, if you scared of public embarassment maybe a picnic in the back with ust the two of you.  Tell her how you feel RESPECTFULLY THOUGH!  Your kids will always divert to Granny if they feel like she has more authority, and she does. You are helpless now.  However you are very smart for putting your kids in the best place for them and not dragging them around to stay at friend's houses. Your mom needs to say ,"now what did your mom say" to your kids.  When the time comes that you have to yell at your kids totally ignore your mom, be confident.  Dont lose focus from scolding your kids to showing frustrations with your mom.  Your kids will see weakness there if you do but if you focus totally on your kids and tune her out your mom will probablly see maturity there and step to the side proudly.

"If you dont like the rules, LEAVE"

   You have to consider if it took your mom 50 years to get how she is then it will take 50 more to change.  So except how she is with grace and dont let her "work your nerves". 

Nine times out of ten when young mothers are in situations like these we fear to express ourselves because of the outcome.  You might be expecting some ugly lash out from your mom. If you come to her like an adult and tell her how you feel she might be hurt at first but she might be more embarassed than anything else.

I have two age old sayings for you:

"Sometimes getting a slap in the mouth is well worth gettin gyour point across."

Use a perfect oppurtunity to express yourself. Maybe go to lunch, if you scared of public embarassment maybe a picnic in the back with ust the two of you.  Tell her how you feel RESPECTFULLY THOUGH!  Your kids will always divert to Granny if they feel like she has more authority, and she does. You are helpless now.  However you are very smart for putting your kids in the best place for them and not dragging them around to stay at friend's houses. Your mom needs to say ,"now what did your mom say" to your kids.  When the time comes that you have to yell at your kids totally ignore your mom, be confident.  Dont lose focus from scolding your kids to showing frustrations with your mom.  Your kids will see weakness there if you do but if you focus totally on your kids and tune her out your mom will probablly see maturity there and step to the side proudly.

"If you dont like the rules, LEAVE"

   You have to consider if it took your mom 50 years to get how she is then it will take 50 more to change.  So except how she is with grace and dont let her "work your nerves". 

Nine times out of ten when young mothers are in situations like these we fear to express ourselves because of the outcome.  You might be expecting some ugly lash out from your mom. If you come to her like an adult and tell her how you feel she might be hurt at first but she might be more embarassed than anything else.