Hi everyone! I can really use some sound advice.  I found my daughters diary.... she's almost 15.  To read or not to read(?)!!!!  I read and didn't like what I read.  She apparantly had "a little sex" as she writes.  (I'm not sure what she means by this...., but it still doesn't sound good)  I've always been open with her regarding sex and how important it is to wait.  She's pretty mature mentally for a 14 year old.    She does very well in school and plays softball 24/7 (I know none of this really matters) but the point is, she's pretty level headed and always busy so this was really the last thing I expected.  Do I tell her I found her diary and read it???  My husband said I need to tell her it fell on the floor when I was changing her sheets and it opened and the word "sex" jumped out at me.  Has anyone gone through this?  Please send advise!!!!  Thanks!

Hi Donna,

I'm not one with great advice I guess because I am finding my self asking the same questions as you, But before you make a rash decision maybe you shouldn't tell her. Diary's are very personal and they are theirs. And its a way for them to vent. Its not important how you found out but whats important is how you are going to handle it. I know my mom read mine growing up and I remember feeling betrayed as if nothing was mine anymore. On the other hand now that I'm an adult raising my own 14 year old daughter I feel like my daughter don't deserve  a lot of privacy, but that's because of all the crap she pulls. My daughter does well in school, she is a softball player too. She looks good  to the outside world as far as to other parents but she has a very naughty side to her. just this last week she ran away from home because she don't think she needs rules, she begs me to let her go. But I love her and I know whats out there and as parents we do what ever we can to protect them. However unfortuanately I am learning that I have to start letting go a little. as for  her little sex - as hard as it is to hear . Of course you are upset and I'm sure you thought she would not do this yet. I would of never thought my daughter would either. keep talking to her about sex and get her on birth control ASAP don't wait and don't feel like you are giving her permission to have sex . You are looking out for her the best you can. As responsible as we believe are kids are, some how shocks the heck out of us when we so them do "not so responsible things" Heck I'm 34 and still make stupid decisions sometimes.

I rent movies about kids getting STDS. And have her watch them hoping it puts the fear of God  in her and in the same sense hoping it will be in her mind  during their "little sex" moments and they will use protection.  The key thing I'm learning is that.... We can only do so much.... And we have to pray everyday and sometimes all day  for peace  in us , because with out that we will destroy our selves and effect those around us. Most importantly we have to pray for our girls and allow God to take care of them. Good luck and write back if you need to talk. This is the best group I have ever been in. And its awesome to vent here. bye for now,..... I'm sure I'll be back.

Hi Donna,

I'm not one with great advice I guess because I am finding my self asking the same questions as you, But before you make a rash decision maybe you shouldn't tell her. Diary's are very personal and they are theirs. And its a way for them to vent. Its not important how you found out but whats important is how you are going to handle it. I know my mom read mine growing up and I remember feeling betrayed as if nothing was mine anymore. On the other hand now that I'm an adult raising my own 14 year old daughter I feel like my daughter don't deserve  a lot of privacy, but that's because of all the crap she pulls. My daughter does well in school, she is a softball player too. She looks good  to the outside world as far as to other parents but she has a very naughty side to her. just this last week she ran away from home because she don't think she needs rules, she begs me to let her go. But I love her and I know whats out there and as parents we do what ever we can to protect them. However unfortuanately I am learning that I have to start letting go a little. as for  her little sex - as hard as it is to hear . Of course you are upset and I'm sure you thought she would not do this yet. I would of never thought my daughter would either. keep talking to her about sex and get her on birth control ASAP don't wait and don't feel like you are giving her permission to have sex . You are looking out for her the best you can. As responsible as we believe are kids are, some how shocks the heck out of us when we so them do "not so responsible things" Heck I'm 34 and still make stupid decisions sometimes.

I rent movies about kids getting STDS. And have her watch them hoping it puts the fear of God  in her and in the same sense hoping it will be in her mind  during their "little sex" moments and they will use protection.  The key thing I'm learning is that.... We can only do so much.... And we have to pray everyday and sometimes all day  for peace  in us , because with out that we will destroy our selves and effect those around us. Most importantly we have to pray for our girls and allow God to take care of them. Good luck and write back if you need to talk. This is the best group I have ever been in. And its awesome to vent here. bye for now,..... I'm sure I'll be back.