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| Christian Moms |
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I just wanted to tell everyone HI!
Does anyone know what I can do to "tame" my one year old daughter?? She is so stubborn and if she doesnt get her way....she SCREAMS!!! She already knows how to throw tantrums...my son didnt do that..he is totally the opposite! Help!!! |
| Posted by Kristan on 07/08/2007 08:23 PM
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| Hi there ! My name is Diana . I've work for 10 years in daycare and trust me I had a few of those. I would advise you to let her throw her tantrums but just ignore her and walk away. Trust me when she sees that you are not paying her any mind and ignoring her eventually she will stop...because she will see that she is not getting the attention she is looking for. Try it and let me know how it goes. Never give in or she will win her battle. |
| posted by on 07/08/2007 09:29 PM
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My little girl is very strong willed and still is. Some children are born with very strong spirits and we alway think that this is a bad thing. Don't get me wrong tantrums and screaming are wrong but a strong spirit is a great thing. Try teaching your daughter when being strong is good and when it isn't. I used the walk away with my daughter and all that made her was more angry. It did work for me but she just moved on to her father, then her big brother and then back to me. I do think this works in daycare settings (I worked infants and toddlers for 5 years) but for home life not so much. During this time of walking away she became very sad and would cry a lot. She was lossing that sparkle. So we threw it out the window. What I did do was play pretend play with her where I acted out what she would do. Get really into it (but make sure she knows your playing). I also had my husband video tape her during a tantrum and let her watch it afterwards. This helps her to see how she is acting. Then I made sure I showed her how she should acted. I had her tell me that I couldn't do something as I pretended to be her. She is still young so you can have your husband pretend to be you. Don't act happy to be told no, they won't believe it (who's happy when they're told no) but be sad and show the right way to express this feeling. I made it fun and now sometimes she asks for me to pretend to have a tantrum and she laughs the whole time.
When she did have a tantrum I took her away from everything to a quiet place (if at the store the car or bathroom works) and hold her until she stops, then we talk about what she did wrong and have her say sorry. Keep it short. When she couldn't say sorry i asked for a hug. Then I gave her a big kiss and told her how much I loved her.
But as I said earlier she is still strong willed but now that she knows how to reacted to 'no', I also know how to talk to her. In the morning I alway ask which of two out fits she wants to wear or let her pick. For dinner I ask her to help me pick out the veggie and believe it or not she alway eats the one she was aloud to pick. I also know her triggers, like candy and toys. Before we go into the store I tell her that we won't be getting any candy or toys today. I also have her help with my grocery list by making a picture grocery list of stuff I buy everytime like milk and bread. She is almost 3 so she doesn't read yet. She is to busy trying to find the bread to care about candy.
With a strong willed child you have to be very creative and know your child really well but you will soon see the great things of her strong spirit, like when she works on a puzzle until she gets it, or when she is sitting in your lap telling you all the things she is going to do when she grows up.
I'm starting to homeschool my son and she wanted to do school to but at first I tried to get her to go play with her dad or play on her own. She didn't want to do that, so everyday she would ask me "please can I do school with Mommy and Mason (her brother) today?" I started letting her and she would just sit there and listen or color a picture. Then one day about a month after she joined us, we were in the car and I asked Mason to count to 20 but he said he didn't want to. Just then my little girl (2 1/2 at the time) started counting. She got all the way to 15.
I quess why I'm telling you this is because I felt like a strong willed child was something to fix and I didn't truely know what a blessing I had but I learned that she just needed for me to teach her how to express feelings and except her for who she is. A little girl who knows what she wants, who will become a woman who could change the world for God if they both had the mind to do so. You have your hands full right now but oh what a wonderful, beautiful handful it is. I hope I have been helpful and not pushy with my view on the subject. I'm sorry if I have. I just pray that God blesses your life and the life of your family.
From one mother of the high spirited to the other
-Jessa |
| posted by Jessica on 07/08/2007 11:01 PM
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