My husband and I had to give up our house we bought in IL back in aug of 07.  We couldn't afford anything, hardly even formula or food so we moved back to MT to be around my family for support.  Since then my hub has been working really hard at a job he hates so we can make ends meet.  We are relativly stable now but by no means have a lot of extra money.  We moved into a bigger house because we wanted to expand our family.  Now he doesn't want another baby but he wants a freakin car instead. He says he has nothing!  As if i have everything.  I've made sacrifices too.  I stay home with our daughter, and he thinks thats reward enough, cuz i don't have to work.  Well it's a full time job and then some damnit.  I asked him why he thought he had nothing, he has katie and i, he just looked at me and walked away.  He thinks his life is so shitty, and in turn is making me feel like crap.  Like i'm not doing it for him anymore, or that i'm just not good enough.  He wants toys, he doesn't want to spend time with us, he sits on the computer or his xbox and plays his games all the time.  And he thinks a car is going to make it all better.  Well damnit we can't afford a car.  He thinks that if he works overtime that we can, and sure we could but then thats more time away from us.  But i don't think he really cares.  My mom had a big weekend planned next weeked when my older brother will be coming home for a few days with his wife and new baby.  So my hub today says he's going to work 3 days overtime.  Just so happens to be the same weekend my bro is here.  He doesn't want anything to do with my family becuase he's mad that we moved away from his.  His family never did anything for us, and my family has done everything for us.  I'm just so mad i could leave him.  Just take my daughter and leave.

You're right - he is such a jerk right now.  You need to talk to him.  Set up a time when your little one is watched by family, and sit and talk.  Explain how you're feeling, explain that you won't be yelled at or ignored, and explain that if something doesn't change, you really don't see any of you being happy in the future.  Sometimes men need a kick in the pants - I'm so sorry you're going through this.  It's hard enough raising a little one.

that could be my life right now. the whole xbox thing, how he has nothing. though i dont have to worry about him buying a car because he doesnt even have a license. I actually got into a fight with him just a few hours ago, i made dinner (cooked everything while he just sat there) and then he spilled a pitcher of juice and in the dining room. it went everywhere!! not a big deal though, just clean it and then eat dinner, right? nooooo, not with him. he picked up our daughter's high chair tray and chucked it across the room (she was in her high chair, right next to where he was standing) and started screaming about how everything was my fault, and how he hates me and i dont do anything right and he just wants to leave.

I run and pick up our daughter because she is terrified of him at this point. and tell him in a calm voice to go outside and calm down, just leave the juice and go. so he does, and smokes a cigarette, then comes back and sits down on the couch while i am still cleaning up the juice. doesnt offer to help, doesnt ask what he can do, or apologize for flipping out (our daughter ran crying from him when he walked in the house too). he still thinks its all my fault and keeps telling me he is going to leave.

I think your husband is being a huge jerk. all that stuff about you staying home, mine says that too. but on his best day, he could never do what i do. And i tell him so whenever he feels the need to say that. I think you should tell him that everyone wants things, and yea it would be great to get them when you want them, but being a parents means having to sacrifice. and you both made that decision, so he needs to sacrifice too.

However, i dont think you should just leave him. i know it is hard, believe me i know. but i also know that my daughter loves her father, and i dont want her to grow up without him. he is upset with me, he does want to leave, (i dont blame him for that, sometimes i want to leave too!) i know he doesnt always mean what he says though. i know he doesnt hate me, and that things like that are said in anger. (he has since apologized for his outburst, though it wasnt right away, it still made me feel better).

maybe try talking to him, sit him down and tell him that you dont want to argue, you just want to have a conversation. he will probably feel better about talking to you if he knows you are not about to attack him. let him know how you have been feeling, maybe he just doesnt realize it (sometimes they just dont get it).

good luck and if you ever need to talk to someone, send me a message. its nice to be able to talk to someone who is going through the same things sometimes.

WoW!!.. Cant help but wonder how old you guys are.... Anyway, sounds liek your hubby is going through a crisis... he may be a jerk to you but couldnt this be an overload of a constant stress from 2007.. you said yourself he is doing something he absolutely hates just to keep his family going.. I know you are suffering too.. Lord knows being a SAHm isnt easy.. I am one too.. bottom line is keepign the family together and getting through thi rough patch.... The car may or may not be a cure for him but the idea of working towards the goal may help both of you come back into the light as to why you did this in the first place.. I asked your age because i am in my 40's as is my hubby and we started again with our little one and my soon to be 18 yo daughter three years ago...

Wow, u ladies certainly put up with more then I would.  U ladies have to remember that you are STRONG women, there is NOTHING that you can NOT do...single or otherwise.  When my husband is being a big ole donkiesbutt, guess what??  He can sit there and be a big ole butt on his own, I aint got time for it...{I am 38 by the way and been married for 13 yrs..2nd marriage}.  He doesn't want to spend time with me and the kids...guess what??  I leave his butt sittin right there ALONE...I take my kids and go...{my kids are 13, 8 and 4}...when he wants to fight or argue about stupid stuff...guess what??  he can stand there and argue with himself....aint got time for it...pmsl....I kid you not.  You do not need to wrap your whole life around HIM....you have children, family, friends...go do something...get away from him....leave him to sit in his misery...there are so many times that I have just ignored the hell out of my husband...cuz I don't have time for nit-picky nonsense.  He is a nit-picker, a cleaner, a whiner and a worrier, he is never happy about anything, can't have fun, has to ruin whatever fun anyone else is having, has a stick so far up his forth point of contact it aint funny.  There are times when he is fun or is in a good mood....far and few between tho.

Go on about whatever it is your doing...do not let a man drag you down...ya know what i mean??  You are strong, independent women...do what you gotta do and don't worry about nothing else.

Need some extra income, look into doing home daycare, the pay is good, your day is consumed with other things and it goes by fast....{i do home daycare}. 

Good luck ladies....just be strong and keep your head up and what ever you do TRUST in GOD, he will provide!!!!

Huge hugs to you