So this is just a vent because I am pretty upset about what happened. I found out I was pregnant about a month and a half ago. This will be my second child, and my first (Anna) will be 26 months when this one is born. I was keeping it a secret until mothers day (yesterday) when i told my mom. But my friend ended up calling and I told her. I knew people would be surprised, i expected that. But her first reaction was "What, you couldnt even take care of the dog at the same time as Anna, and you are having another baby?" and "How are you going to take care of this one all by yourself when Ryan (my fiance) never helps, you are always calling me complaining about it."

First of all, we had gotten a 5month old puppy, who wasnt house trained. I love him, but i adopted him out because I felt I wasnt giving him enough. Because he wasnt house trained he had to stay in his crate, or be outside, all day. If he went on the floor I couldnt just pick him up and put him outside (which is what you are supposed to do). If i did i would be leaving my daughter unsupervised around a pile of pee. But I felt bad that he was being kept in his crate all day, so I found him a new family who had the time to spend with him. I also found out around the time that I got him that I was pregnant, which was another reason for adopting him out. But I couldnt tell anyone that at the time.

Secondly, My fiance does make me mad sometimes. He makes me mad alot of times actually. But he comes home every morning (he works 3rd shift) gets our daughter up, changes her, feeds her breakfast, and plays with her, until i get up. I told him that we would not be having a second one until he started helping with the first. and he did, he stepped up. I hadnt talked to her in a while, so i dont think she knew about that. But it really made me mad because she is my friend, friends are there when you need to complain. When you had a bad day, and just want to vent, you call a friend (at least I do), and she does the same with me. But when she ends up doing something that contradicts what she is saying i dont throw it in her face and tell her she is making a bad decision, because I know that she was only venting.

It makes me mad that instead of being happy for me, she acts like a jerk about it. I am not stupid, i know that raising two children (a toddler and infant) at the same time will be very difficult. But I know that that was my decision to make. It is already made, and it was made by two rational adults, weighing the pros and cons of having a second baby. And all i need her to do now is say, "really, that's great! i cant wait to meet this one.".

Is that really so hard?

i understand you 100%!  i have a friend of over 10yrs who reacted the same way when i told her i was preggo the 2nd time (my 1st was a miscarry).  she said to me, and i quote, "how can you do this to that poor baby when you and jason are having so many problems with jami (his 1st child from a previous relationship) and he doesnt help around the house, blah, blah, blah".  i felt the same way you did, like how could this "friend" be so negative about something so positive?

keep your head up, she'll come around.  and if anyone has anything negative to say about it, just tell them that if they wont look at this in a positive way, they need to leave you and your family alone. 

btw, CONGRATS!

I was pissed when she said it and I yelled at her for it. And she was like, "well i am just worried about you"

I was like, I am having a baby, not a freaking heart attack!! dont be worried, be happy! after that she was a little better. But it kind of brought the whole conversation down. I just have never heard anyone react that way, especially since we planned on having this baby.

Thanks though, I feel better just getting it out.

(and even though it is late, congrats on yours too, lol)

well i know before i had my lil raven, some of  my women relatives was asking me, are you going to do birth control after him, im like thats kinda personal, dont you think?..i said no, my mom waas like you should ..well its my body, my marraige, i dont like for another woman to tr to tell me how to run my relationship...lol, and to tell me that i should, i think not!!! some ppl are just ignorant!!!as long as you and hubby is happy then thats all that should mattercongrads on ur sec  blessing

Yeah,I kinda understand that too.I had my thrid child and hubby and I wanted more after her,but our families pressured me into getting a tubal cause I could not handle any more.I feel like I should have been able to make that choice on my own.I really regret it know.Just hold your ground and if she is as good as a friend as she likes to think then maybe she should help you out instead of putting you down.

i know where ur comming from....I actually stoped telling my friends (i have 2 BFs) when theres problems in my relationship becuase eventually Ill get over it and things will be fine...I do understand that they have my best interest at heart but still theres no reason to have them seeing him in a differant light when i really will just get over it...and i know it kinda sucks too cuz u would think u would be able to tell ur friend everything but as I get older im realizing that some things are just none of there business...so when u have to vent just come here..LOL

CONGRATS ON THE BABY!!

Hey Becky, Congratulations!  I am sorry but I did not even see this post until today and I am late to congratulate you. 

I have two children that are two years apart (toddler and infant) and I found that life gets a little easier as the time goes on.  I know that you will do great and the kids will bring you happiness.