Hi,

 My son is 21 months and lately he's become very skittish around all adults and now even other children. I think I need to have him interact more with kids his own age He's my frist and only one right now and I'm a stay at home mom so most of the day is spent just me and him I thought it would be good for my son to have me there but now I'm wondering if that's hurting his development. He's scared of evrything the fan, vacum you name it. Instead of him becoming more independent as he gets holder it seems like he's just getting more clingy and unsure. I just don't know what to do is this a stage he's going through or should I be concerned? Please help any adive would be much appreiciated

Thanks

Rhashayla

Well one thing that I have learned from life as a mother so far, is that no matter what, we will worry about our children. It means that you care and no matter what we always want to know that they are striving in the right way. But, the thing is there is not a right way for every child. I recommend talking about your situation with your pediatrician. I always have my list of questions and concerns and even after I get answers I use my instincts to feel out the answers. I would try going to public places with your child and letting him just observe if that is what he chooses to do and there would be nothing wrong with that. They learn not just by doing but seeing. Also, I recommend lots of praise for accomplishments. That can help build his self esteem. Even little things like reacting to what you have asked him to do and ect. I have a 3.5 year old boy who has a major sound issues. Anything that is loud he freaks out. I have heard that this is common and will pass? Don't push him to hard to do things like talk to people if it makes him feel uncomfortable, but let him open up on his own. Ever child is different and develops at their own pace. I'm not an expert, this is just from one mom to another. I hope it was helpful.

Kelly mom to 3- 3 and under

I also would talk to the pediatrician about the situation. Usually every single time that I am not sure, I ask the pediatrician, but I also like to ask others as well! Sometimes, hearing different views or answers can actually help.

One thing that you may be able to do is to bring your son to playgroups in your area. I brought my son to the library where they have story hour with other children. Slowly, the socialization developed a little better than it was when we started. You can also take classes at the YMCA with one of your family members with kids or friends with kids. This would all be a great way for his interaction skills to improve. The last thing that Kelly stated was that words of encouragement help to build self-esteem.

I am also trying doing all these things with my 19-month old son because he has issues with clinginess and socialization. At least, he has gotten a little better! I hope it all works out for you. I am sorry that I posted a little later.

All children have different temperments. Encouragment is key. Don't force him to do anything but encourage him to do things and praise him for accomplishments. Maybe starting small is key for him. Instead of going to a crowded place with lots of children and adults try finding one person with a child around the same age to set up playdates with. The children will not nessacerily play together because of their age they tend to watch and copy others but not play together. After setting up with meeting with one child if you notice he starts to interact more then try inviting another to join. Once he is comfortable with acouple of children then maybe find a larger group to have playgroups with. With objects such as a vaccum, fan ect. try letting him be around it when it is off slowly introduce him to the object it self away from the noise. Let him participate with turning it on and off. Don't force it if he get scared just tell him it is okay and turn the object back off and put it away. If he is okay with just the object but not the noise he just maybe sensitive to loud noises. Talking with your pediatrition will help as well but sometimes you get different answers from different doctors so you have to test what you believe will work. I like it if my pediatrition actually has children because some don't and only give you a text book medical answer which isn't always what is the best thing for you and your child. You can't raise a child from a book because all children are different.

Karen (early childhood development/eduactor) and mother to 20mth old