i dont know what to do anymore.my daughter drives me nuts.shes extremely mouthy.she takes from me all the time.i no longer have any makeup because little by little shes used it all,all my earings she has gotten in to and lost.she rarely does her chores,when she does its halfass.i spend more time yelling at her.its easier to just do it myself.my hubby and i wear old ratty clothes because we keep her in her designer clothes,cell phone,braces ect.we both work very very hard at our jobs.we do overtime too.we do our very best for the kids.she will fight with her bros.if they piss her off she kick them or push them and show no remorse! she reminds me all the time how her friends parents are so much better then me.

today,i came home and laid down for a nap.i had a hard day.she came in and woke me up take demand to go to her friends house.i was so pissed.she didnt care how tired i was,she tells me its my job to run her around! shes so heartless.i never see her cry.she acts very hard.once in awhile ill tell her a sad story or something in conversation....and she says,sucks to be them!! and laughs.i dont know where she gets this crap.no empathy for others.so after about 15 minutes of arguing...i couldnt take it.i got up and drove her ass to the friends house.maybe ill get a night of peace out of it? im so tired.im tired of tracking her grades often to make sure she at least passes her classes.im so tired of being the ref in the fights with the siblings.im tired of fighting with her.im tired of being around her negativity.i tell myself only 4 more years....

Amanda,

Its so frustrating I know and I am with you on this , one good thing out of all of this  your daughter isnt the only one that treats her family this way, the more I read and realize that its not sucha big world after all. the main thing is realizing we can only control the things that are controllable. Our daughters are 14 , we have raised them up to this point hoping that what we have taught them and showed them will some how come to play an important role in there life we have taught them right from wrong and now we have to let them make the choices and pay the consequenses for there actions. I pray so hard everyday for my daughter and sometime see no results that are good. and some that are. but I walk away from her when she gets nasty with me I refuse to bow down to a 14 year old and I will not argue .I am the boss. and thats it, It is not easy to walk away because she says things to me that I would knock the teeth out of if any one else would but I also get the satisfaction of winning when I dont feed the animal if you know what I mean . When I say no its no and if she gos behind my back and does it anyway, she will get caught and she better hope not from me. what has worked the best for me is shutting the door after I tell her no and the conversation is over. later to come out she must feel some discipline cause she is still there, but I have told her if she leaves without my permission there will be a consequence. I went to the police department and told them my situation, I have told neighbors my situation and she is very watched and I was embarressed by it too. sometimes we have to take control of our lives . We love them and care or we wouldnt bother. I tell my daughter that all the time. Good luck , keep in touch and I hope it helps , hell were all learning this game and I dont know any professional mothers of perfect teens!!!!!!

I think it is very typical for teenagers to act out, especially girls. You cannot blame yourself. But my question to you is why do you allow her to run you? It seems to me that she gets whatever she wants regardless of her behavior, and maybe she knows that if she wears you down, you will give in. YOU are in charge!!! YOU should not have to argue with a 14 yr old. Why are you and your husband wearing ratty clothes to keep in her designer clothes? Why does she have a cell phone? these seem like privelages to me, and if she is so mouthy and rude with her family, as well as unwilling to contribute with chores or show respect, she does not deserve them. Don't allow her to guilt trip you either.

She nees to learn to respect you. There is no reason she should expect you to drive her anywhere, especially a friend's house after arguing with you. And, I understand why you keep track of her grades, bt in reality she will have to be responsible for those herself. She may not appreciate having an education or the consequences for doing poorly. Perhaps she needs to find out for herself. IT's a cruel world, and we only wish to make sure our kids are happy, helathy, and live good lives. But they also need to learn to take direction and responibility for their lives. They need to learn to stand on their own two feet and reep the good and bad from their personal choices.

Personally, I would refuse to talk to my daughter when she is being nasty. I am that way with ym 16 yr old son. If he beomes disrespectful, I point out the behavior and explain that I donot appreciate it, nor will I tolerate it. I do nto allow him to hang out with friends or buy new things unless he takes care of his responibilities at home and in school. And I refuse to argue with him. If we discuss something and it begins heading that way, I warn him. If his mouth continues...he goes to his room. He does nto have a cell phone that he can just use whenever. HE gets a limited number of minutes and has no internet access or texting on the phone (Why would he need it honestly??). And he definitely does not wear designer clothes (Although I knwo boys are easier in this dept.)

Best of luck. Don't be afraid to put yourself once every so often!!!

well amanda since she has all this stuff guess what u can use them against her the next out burst she has the day she is at school or at her friends house clear her room of all her nice belongings her clothes jewelery etc.... just her bed and dressers should remain. she'll have a nice suprise.let her discover her room and comes to demand where her belongings are just tell her its in a safe place.lock it upin a closet somewhere but dont let her know where you put it (trust me lol) take her to goodwill or any second hand store near u buy her a few outfits and shoes for her to wear and tell if she wants her stuff back she has to earn it back like for every chore she does she'll get an item back. for every proper behavor like asking nicely for anything she'll get an itemm back. etc..... and once she gets everything back let her know if the rules are broke anymore the items will go into the trash or givin away to someone else and she will not get it back (ever). and just be like u sure did look good in those goodwill clothes for just a reminder of what could happen if she acts up.i did that to my daughter and she did not like it and she did change her behavior for a little while t was a nice break lol. but trust me my daughter was 10 times worse then yours lol. i would tell you my story but it'll be to long lol. and you should write the rules you want her to follow and have it hanging where she can see it at all times.well i could go forever with other methods to use but i want to keep it short and i hope this techniqe will help